Straight to the POINT

n FIRST we had the plague, then fires. When are the locusts due?

DAVID KAYE, Haywards Heath, W. Sussex. n AT LEAST I should be able to afford my heating bill this month.

FRANK GUNN, Beaconsfield, Bucks. n IT HIT 40.3 degrees and no one fried an egg on the pavement?

BARBARA THOMAS, Billingshurst, W. Sussex. n WFH is JNW (just not working).

GARRY CARR, Yelland, Devon. n OH DEAR, I don’t match any of the ten Kibbe body types (Mail). Should I be worried?

CHRISTINE THOMPSON, Ripley, Derbys. n ORLA GUERIN and Lyse Doucet. There’s two you wouldn’t want to see on the same plane as you.

DAVID EDWARDS, Leighton Buzzard, Beds. n WHY don’t businesses ever answer emails or the phone?

TONY McBRIDE, Leamington Spa, Warks. n IF YOU have died waiting to speak to one of our agents, please press zero. Thank you. Your call is no longer important to us.

MICHAEL READE, Pinner, Middlesex. n PLEASE don’t call Tory backstabbers ‘weasels’. It’s unfair to weasels.

IAN R. DUCKWORTH, Rochdale, Gtr Manchester. ■ VICTORIA’S magnificent tribute to her late husband was the Albert Memorial (Mail). What better memorial to a Royal Navy man and the Queen’s Consort than a new Royal yacht named The Prince Philip.

TONY MOON, Bexhill-on-Sea, E. Sussex.

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