Out Of The Mouths Of Babes

MY GRANDDAUGHTER ella, aged three, had been asked not to pick on the other children at her nursery school. The next day, when my daughter picked her up, she

One-line Philosophers

I USED to hate cricket, but now I’m over it.

Warren Brown, Falmouth, Cornwall.

ARGUMENTATIVE types can only agree on things that don’t interest them.

Antony Dean, Keighley, W. Yorks.

Anagram

‘Stand back from the Queen’s Life Guard, don’t touch those reins!’

Karen got quite offended ’cos staunch horseman blurted this.

Murray Cameron, Auckland, New Zealand.

asked ella: ‘I hope you haven’t been bullying anyone today.’ her answer was: ‘Not when anyone was looking!’ Heather Harrison, Blackpool, Lancs.

Picturethat!

CREATURE COMFORT: My ‘jumbo’ dinner!

Ken Rich, Ellesmere Port, Cheshire.

Joke

I POPPED into my local cafe and ate a ploughman’s lunch. he was furious.

Ian MacDonald, Billericay, Essex.

Wordy Wise

THE OLD CURIOSITY STOP — bus pull-in outside antique dealer’s.

LIVER TWIST — after all the clues in the thriller pointed to the butler, it turned out the offal did it.

BEAK HOUSE — aviary.

GREAT REXPECTATIONS — certain of seeing a Tyrannosaurus.

DAVID COPPERYIELD — Dickensian metal miner. BARNABY FUDGE — Dickensian confectionery.

A MALE OF TWO CITIES — man having homes in London and Paris.

OAR MUTUAL FRIEND — we’re both acquainted with a rower.

Dave Cullen, Leeds.