Her goodbye letter

Dear Ryan

I know pretty much everything you’ve been doing with other women behind my back since the day I met you.

My gut always told me that you couldn’t be trusted and you were a compulsive liar and serial cheat.

I always knew deep down but didn’t believe it, I wanted to believe the things you told me and I really loved you.

But I know now you say the same things you say to me to multiple women.

I’m nothing special, I was just the one you didn’t let have a happy life.

At least these other women have husbands, kids, boyfriends, or go on to have them. I stayed loyal and committed to you, no matter what, and what have I got for it? Nothing at all.

For five years, I haven’t really wanted to know the truth. Since Christmas, there were so many things that didn’t add up.

You and Helen were in a full-on relationship while you were sleeping with me. She met your kids, family and stayed in The Stafford with you. You paid for her to fly with you to Barcelona. You told her that you loved her, wanted to marry her and have kids. You’re in constant contact with her even now.

You and Zara were also ina full-on relationship for a year before I came home. I could go on but I think that’s enough. Stacey [Giggs] and so many other people knew about it. You would get your guy from Harrods to send her shoes, clothes and dresses.

I know about Natalie and Susie. All going on when you were with me, not to mention Kelly. You met a woman at The Stafford that you confused me for. I know you were sending messages about sex and threesomes with Charlotte from Hotel Football while you were sleeping with me and sleeping with Helen. When I asked you, you denied the whole thing. You paid for her to stay at The Stafford too. I know about the women you meet at The Stafford when you’re there.

I know about Steph. She’s married to that cricketer now. You were having sex with her on tour in Washington.

Don’t forget XXXXX [name redacted]. It gives me a smug smile every time I see her. I haven’t brought these things up to your face because you would just tell me lies.

I know for a fact all the above is true. You would deny it, attack me, make me feel bad for accusing you, and tell me to leave. You will never lie to me or cheat on me again, or make me question myself. I have Mac [their dog], I want to keep him. He’s as much mine as yours and you dip in and out of his life. If you want to fight me for him, that’s your prerogative. I think after everything you’ve put me through I deserve to have something good from this relationship but you don’t agree.

I am sad you could never be honest with me about everything. I will probably never properly come to terms with the fact that my life with you over six years is a lie.

I finally found out I fell in love with a person who doesn’t even exist. I was living a life with you and you were living multiple lives with other women.

You are constantly telling me you want me to be happy but we girls can always feel in our gut when guys are lying and cheating. I still believe you love Helen but you cheated on her with me and Zara.

I don’t think you’ll ever be happy. A little advice, if you want to be happy with someone, don’t lie and don’t cheat.

I can’t see anything changing with you.

Goodbye Ryan, it has been extremely emotional.

K