‘Why can’t you be fun like Fergie?’ he said

FERGIE seemed to know all about the royal set-up, and came to lunch at Buckingham Palace and didn’t seem daunted by it all. Suddenly, everybody said: ‘Oh, isn’t Fergie [Sarah, Duchess of York] marvellous, a breath of fresh air — thank God she’s more fun than Diana.’ I felt terribly insecure. I thought maybe I ought to be like Fergie.

And my husband said: ‘I wish you would be like Fergie — all jolly. Why are you always so miserable? Why can’t you be like Grannie [the Queen Mother]?’ I’m quite glad I’m not like Grannie now. And I made so many balls-ups trying to be like Fergie.

I went to a pop concert, David Bowie, with my friend David Waterhouse and [Princess Margaret’s son] David Linley. I went in leather trousers, which I thought was the right thing to do, completely putting out of mind that future Queens don’t wear leather like that in public.

So I thought that was frightfully ‘with it’, frightfully pleased to act my own age. Slapped hands.

The same summer, at Ascot, I put somebody’s umbrella up somebody’s backside. [Photographers captured the moment, above, when Diana and Fergie poked their friend Lulu Blacker with rolled umbrellas.] I got terribly jealous of Fergie and she got terribly jealous of me. I couldn’t understand it: she was actually enjoying being where she was, whereas I was fighting to survive. I couldn’t understand how she could find it so easy. I thought she would be like me and be shy.

When I first arrived on the royal scene, I’d always put my head down. Now that I interpret it, that did look sulky. I’ve never sulked. I never sulked as a child; it’s just not in me.

But I’ve been terrified out of my tiny little mind. I was just so frightened of the attention I was getting. It took me six years to get comfortable. One minute, I was nobody; the next minute, I was Princess of Wales — mother, media toy, member of this family, you name it. And it was too much for one person at that time.

No, Fergie was a different kettle of fish altogether, and she wooed everybody in this family and did it so well. She left me looking like dirt. I knew eventually Fergie would turn round and say: ‘Duch [Diana’s childhood nickname], how on earth have you survived all these years?’ She’s said it now for the past two years.