When even dagger-eyed Theresa is murmuring her approval, you must be doing something right
WELL, well. That certainly shut the Opposition benches nchruss up. Liz Truss sailed through her first PMQs yesterday. No, scrap crap that. She nailed it, smashed d it right out of the park.
Our new Prime Minister was as a model of ice- cool authority and confidence. I know, I know, it’s hardly her first rodeo at the des despatch box, but never has she appeared quite so self-assured.
What’s more, she was not shy about portraying herself as something which has, shamefully, been MIA in a Tory leader for far too long: A lowtax Conservative.
Naturally, her backbenchers loved it. The ear- splitting roar they gave her must have whistled its way down Whitehall and beyond. I haven’t heard the window putty in the chamber rattle so hard since Boris Johnson first faced off with Jeremy Corbyn and diced the old booby up in the Magimix.
even Theresa May, seated in her usual assassin’s perch, spent the session with her lips pursed in… admiration. Shades of Meryl Streep’s ruthless diva Miranda Priestly in The Devil Wears Prada. When even dagger-eyed Theresa is murmuring her approval – smiling even – you must be doing something right.
Truss arrived in the Commons bang on midday. If she was experiencing any pre-match butterflies they certainly weren’t showing. No sooner had she burst through the double doors behind the Speaker’s chair than she was launching herself at one of her whips, Craig Whittaker, planting his cheek with a wet smacker.
Amid a flurry of cheers she eased herself gently into her seat, peering up at colleagues seated in the gallery. A wink here, a nod there, a cheeky grin. Wowzers she looked good! Pinslender navy trouser suit, a hint of pie frill at the neck, and neat, freshly highlighted bob. From along the bench, her Home Secretary Suella Braverman and Chancellor Kwasi Kwarteng whispered supportive words.
What a dreary lot Labour’s front bench looked by comparison. Starmer, Angela Rayner, Rachel Reeves, Yvette Cooper – all sour sneers and scowls. What a humourless bunch. You’d have more laughs on a night out with an Amish family.
Truss kicked off by offering Starmer a peace pipe, suggesting they try to work together when it is in the national interest. Sly trick. David Cameron tried the same thing when he made his debut, knowing full well most Labour MPs would rather swallow weed killer than co-operate with filthy Tories.
Starmer wanted to talk about how the Government is going to tackle the energy crisis. Will there be a windfall tax on energy firms making bumper profits?
Truss was clear. It was a firm no. Gasp, a straight answer! Sir Keir’s circuits seemed to go into a spin. Does not compute! Does not compute! After two years of Boris, he wasn’t accustomed to such frankness.
How on earth, he asked, could a Government raise money without more tax, tax, tax? He seemed particularly cross that Mr Kwarteng and his Treasury team were planning to scrap the planned corporation tax rise. He described it as a ‘hand-out’ to companies. Hand-out? It’s their money, for goodness sake.
Lowering her voice and savouring the moment, the PM leant forward to give her opponent a little crash course in Trussanomics.
‘He’s looking at it the wrong way,’ she womansplained gently. When taxes go down, receipts go up. Simples. Besides, she added: ‘You can’t
tax your way to growth.’ Same old Tories, same old trickledown economics, Starmer moaned. Truss countered that it was same old Labour, same old tax and spend. ‘He does not understand aspiration. He does not understand that people want to keep more of their own money,’ she pronounced. The Tory benches erupted at this outburst of unabashed Thatcherism.
‘Morrrrre!’ they yelled. Some of the cherry-nosed grandees positioned at the back of the chamber were so over- excited I thought they might require smelling salts. Groans, as ever, greeted the intervention of the SNP’s Ian Blackford. He asked about a windfall tax even though she’d already ruled one out. Poor old Blackers. Fleetness of foot is never going to be his strong point.
And up against Truss, that bullyboy manner, which he got away with when facing Boris, is in danger of making him look like a dinosaur.
Enter Mrs May. With faux wonder and mischief in her voice, the former PM asked the new PM why it was that all three female prime ministers to date have hailed from the Conservative Party.
Truss thanked her for a ‘fantastic’ question and agreed that it was ‘quite extraordinary… that there doesn’t seem to be the ability in the Labour Party to find a female leader – or indeed a leader who doesn’t come from North London’.
Even Starmer, a resident of Islington luvvie- land, laughed along reluctantly.
But then what else could he do? His party is suddenly looking distinctly stale. And for the first time in a long while, the Tories’ tails are up.