Why women may be happier after an affair

HAVING an affair leaves women happier – but for men cheating has the opposite effect, a study suggests.

Dutch researchers who collected wellbeing and relationship data from German adults for more than 12 years focused on 609 who had been involved in an affair and 338 who had been the victim of one.

They found women who cheated largely reported an increase in self-esteem and life satisfaction after the affair.

But men who committed adultery ‘were more negatively affected’, the researchers from Tilburg University wrote in the journal Psychological Science. ‘Our analyses detected one group of participants who seem to recover and even thrive after infidelity... unfaithful women,’ they said.

‘Potentially, women’s affairs are more likely to be a result of partner dissatisfaction and consequently the affair may be a wake-up call for their partners, leading to positive behavioural change.

‘A look at outcomes suggests that male perpetrators were more negatively affected by the event.’

The study also revealed cheating was preceded by a gradual decrease in personal and relationship satisfaction over several years. This could be triggered by reasons including big life events such as having a baby or poor communication.

‘In perpetrators, this decline might be a reason for starting an affair or even an intentional distress management strategy,’ the researchers wrote.

‘In victims, a decrease in wellbeing might be a result of feeling the partner’s dissatisfaction or represent a causal factor increasing their likelihood of being cheated on.

‘Unhappiness has been associated with poor outcomes in social life in previous research. Hence, a decrease in personal wellbeing might make the future victim less attractive, contributing to the infidelity of the partner.’

Separate research from Reichman University in Israel has suggested that those whose friends are having affairs are more likely to cheat too.

Infidelity is one of the most commonly cited reasons for divorce in the UK, according to the Office for National Statistics. A You-Gov poll carried out in 2015 revealed that as many as one in five Britons has had an affair.