Not another PM ripe for ousting!
IT’S 1940 and there is a gathering storm of criticism surrounding Winston Churchill. The controversial new PM has a reputation for making unreasonable demands on officials, according to an anonymous source. His cigar-smoking has led to a number of staff requesting transfers on health grounds, and his maxim ‘Action This Day’ is widely derided. An insider remarks: ‘This is a thoughtless edict, was never agreed by committee and shows no consideration for colleagues trying to maintain a work-life balance in desperate times.’
It is also revealed that No 10 has unilaterally suspended a raft of departmental initiatives including seminars on mindfulness, feng shui and working from home. In addition, civil servants will no longer be able to claim for yoga mats on expenses. There are also complaints concerning his ‘We shall never surrender’ rant, which ‘flies in the face of reality, whereas some pragmatism is called for’, opines someone close to the PM. ‘We are sure the Europeans are prepared to show goodwill if we ourselves are ready to compromise — something that has been sadly lacking since September 3 last year.’ As for the speech in which ‘the Few’ are thanked, this is seen as yet another example of Churchill’s insensitivity towards Whitehall and a slap in the face for those officials whose holidays have been cancelled, with many now required to work from Monday all the way through to Friday. Some are further obliged to start as early as 9am and continue without a cappuccino brunch break until as late as 5pm. The Prime Minister is unavailable for comment, although he was recently photographed in a pinstripe suit, chomping his trademark cigar while defiantly holding a Tommy gun. This not only invokes Al Capone but again ‘promotes poor life choices’, in the words of anti- smoking campaigners, who add: ‘Yet another clanger from this unelected imperialist, who eats and drinks to excess. If only we in Britain could follow the example set by Berlin and its vegetarian Fuhrer und Reichskanzler, who we know has us ever in his thoughts.’
Some MPs are believed to have submitted letters to the 1922 Committee already, although its chairman, as ever, remains tight-lipped on the matter.
S. HOGAN, Llanelli, Carms.