A problem shared

Should I move my mother in now I’ve got an empty nest?

Q I AM concerned about my 72-year-old mother who has lived alone for some years, two hours away from us, and has recently been diagnosed with the early stages of Alzheimer’s.

My husband and I are considering inviting her to live with us. Our children have grown up and left home so we have the space. But I wonder if doing so could hinder rather than help my mum’s condition, as we have no medical expertise.

Would she be better to move into a care home long-term?

A THIS is a big decision with major practical and emotional implications, and requires lots of family discussion. Is this meant to be a temporary or permanent arrangement? What happens if her dementia gets worse, or if her relationship with you or your husband becomes strained? It is important that both parties fully understand what you are letting yourselves in for.

as for your specific question about whether having her live with you may hinder her condition, with all the care and extra social contact you can provide, I think it is unlikely to do her harm, and could really help to delay her decline into dementia. But it is a big responsibility.

a well- run care home with plenty of activities and social contact can provide benefits too, though such places are hard to find and can be very expensive.

Dementia is now the leading cause of death in women in the UK and the risk rises rapidly with age. There is roughly a one in six chance of getting it once you reach the age of 80.

It is a progressive disorder of the brain which often involves problems with speech, shortterm memory and reasoning. There is no cure, but there is evidence that adopting a Mediterranean- style diet (one that is rich in fruit, vegetables, olive oil and oily fish) can make a difference, particularly when combined with increased activity, both physical and mental.

I don’t know what her diet is like at the moment, but many older people find it hard to get the motivation to cook or go for a walk. Living with you could lead to a healthier lifestyle, as well as the benefits that come from having more daily social interactions. social connection acts like exercise for the brain.

People with hearing difficulties, who become more isolated as they lack the stimulation of conversation, are also at greater risk of dementia. If you have any doubts about her hearing, get it checked.

Whether or not your mother moves in with you, try to help her increase her social contact, whether this is with friends or neighbours. This has been shown to lower the risk of dementia by as much as 12 per cent, according to a 28-year follow-up study from the department of psychiatry at university College London.

It is a big decision and I hope that whatever is decided works out for you all.