Ephraim Hardcastle
HARRY’S whinge about cramped Nottingham Cottage ‘constructed for small people, humans of a bygone era’ is contradicted from beyond the grave by Sir Philip Hay, private secretary to Marina, the late Duchess of Kent. He lived there for ten years until his death in 1986, 32 years prior to Harry and Meghan moving into the Kensington Palace house before their 2018 wedding. Sir Philip’s son Andrew, amused by Harry’s complaint, says: ‘My father was 6ft 4in and was entirely happy and comfortable there, even by the standards of humans of today. But he had spent three and a half years as a prisoner of war on the Burma railway, so probably knew a little about physical and mental discomfort.’
THERE were hopes that the new King would overrule his late mother and allow DNA tests on the alleged bones of the ‘Princes in the Tower’. The Queen refused permission for work on the bones, interred in Westminster Abbey after the princes were supposedly murdered in the Tower of London by Richard III in his bid for succession. A source says King Charles, who as Prince of Wales was keen to identify Edward IV’s heirs, now wants the bones to rest in peace. ‘He has been advised that there could be no way of confirming that the remains, even if of the right age, are those of Princes Edward, 12, and Richard, nine,’ says the source. ‘And identifying the killer would be impossible.’ Will the fate of the medieval heir and his spare ever be known?
PEERING into her imaginary crystal ball Lady Victoria Hervey, pictured, says of the Sussex marriage: ‘I see it collapsing at some point. Him coming back to England and it being a really messy divorce.’ She predicts: ‘Meghan is going to end up with some big American billionaire and just dump Harry.’ Any tips for Plumpton today, Mystic Vic?
ONE of Harry’s less damaging family revelations is that his dad Charles retains a teddy bear, which comforted him through his traumatic years at Gordonstoun school. ‘It is a pitiful object with broken arms and dangly threads,’ he writes. But no mention in Spare of the King’s personal loo seat, which apparently travels with him everywhere.
DEPARTED teen idol David Cassidy was one of Gina Lollobrigida’s conquests after she’d got wind of the then 23-year-old’s nickname, Donkey. ‘She was about twice my age, but very attractive,’ Cassidy wrote in his memoir. ‘The first time we met she looked me up and down and said: “I hear you’re a monster. I want to meet the monster”. Well, I decided that if I had it,’ he mused, ‘there wasn’t any point in just keeping it in the holster all the time.’
EVERGREEN entertainer Jess Conrad, 86, recalls taking cocaine before a matinee performance of pantomime Jack and the Beanstalk, where he was playing Jack. ‘I was in a right two and eight but hoped by the time I got to the theatre, it would have worn off,’ he remembers. ‘But instead of the giant chasing me, I chased the giant up the beanstalk.’ Happy daze!