The doctor said: ‘ You’ve got MND, there’s not a lot we can do...’ I was dumbstruck
MARCUS STEWART, whose goals fired Ipswich into Europe 22 years ago, on facing up to the fight of his life aged 50
THE man whose left foot fired Ipswich into Europe is about to attempt something altogether more mundane with his left hand.
‘This will be interesting,’ says Marcus Stewart, as he leans towards his coffee in the lounge of the Hotel du Vin overlooking Bristol’s Avon Gorge. He then tries to lift his drink, but the cup stays on the saucer. ‘No,’ he concedes. ‘I can’t pick that up.’
There are times, Stewart admits, when he actually forgets he has motor neurone disease. His symptoms are slow and the only visible sign is his skinny left hand and an index finger that sticks out. But in moments like this, when he cannot pick up a cup, he is reminded of his degenerative condition, for which there is currently no cure.
It has been this way for Stewart for a year now. The 50-year- old former striker — best known for scoring 19 goals as newly promoted Ipswich finished fifth in the Premier League in 2001 — was diagnosed with MND last January and announced it in September. However, the warning signs go
‘I went up to Huddersfield to tell my boys. I had to have a beer. I couldn’t tell them without a bit of Dutch courage. It was tough’
back much further, to the first lockdown of 2020.
‘It was at the time when you could only have a drink outside and we were at our local pub,’ recalls his wife of 10 years, Louise, who is sitting alongside her husband for his first newspaper interview since living with MND.
‘Marcus went to pick up his drink and he said, “Lou, look at my hand”. It did not look good. It was like cramp. He had to peel his fingers open. But I thought it was probably just because of the cold.’
Soon after that seemingly innocuous episode, Stewart had more cause for concern. ‘I was doing home workouts and over the course of time my hand kept coming off the pull-up bar or I’d drop a dumbbell,’ he explains.
‘Then I remember being sat down and turning the TV on and noticing my hand looked a bit skinny. I looked at my arm and compared it to my right. I’ve always been slim but I’m lefthanded so my left arm should be a little bit bigger. That was it and it just went from there.’
What followed was months of hospital appointments and tests. Initially, the weakness in Stewart’s arm was put down to a bone spur in his neck pressing on a nerve. But Louise feared the worst when MND was listed as a possible cause in a letter from the NHS.
‘I googled it and it said you have one to two years to live,’ she says. ‘That was the worst moment. I was in a bit of a hole.’
Stewart, however, was relaxed when he went to see the specialist on his own on January 6 last year. ‘MND didn’t even cross my mind,’ he admits. ‘Lou was worried, but I was like, “Shut up, soppy, I’m fine, there is nothing wrong with me”.
‘I went to the appointment all happy, thinking they are going to give me the all-clear. The specialist got me on the bed and I had to stay as still as I could for five minutes as she checked my legs, arms and mouth.
‘We then sat down and she went, “It’s highly likely you’ve got MND”. She was so cold. She was like, “There is not a lot we can do, I’ll book an appointment and see you in six months”. I was completely dumbstruck. I’m quite good at taking things, but I just didn’t expect that.’
Stewart called his wife to relay the devastating news. ‘I just remember crying,’ says Louise. ‘I went into panic mode. Then he came home and turned up with a bunch of flowers for me. I took a photo because that doesn’t usually happen.’
Stewart’s thoughts soon turned to how he was going to tell his two sons, 23-yearold Kian and Finlay, 20, who are based in Huddersfield where they play for the town’s rugby club. ‘I’ve probably only had four cries — one was that moment I was told and the next was telling my boys,’ he says. ‘I went up to Huddersfield to see them. I had to have a beer. I couldn’t tell them without a bit of Dutch courage. It was a tough moment.
‘But I said to them, “I’m carrying on as normal and I’m going to be here for a long time yet. When I can’t pick a pint up, just take the mick out of my hand”. And they do. They got over the initial shock and they are fine now, as am I. I’ve just got a problem with my hand. ‘It’s quite funny because I got my finger caught in the car boot because I thought it was bent and obviously it’s not. It’s only when I’m making a cup of tea, carrying a suitcase in from the car or need to do my zip up that I’m reminded. ‘ But I’m not stuck in a wheelchair. I can still walk. I can still talk. I can drive my car and I still ride my bike.’
They are all things, Stewart later discovered, that his specialist did not expect he would be able to do when he went for his first follow-up appointment last June. ‘She said, “Marcus, I am really pleased today because I didn’t expect you to be walking or talking”,’ he remembers. ‘We walked out of there dead happy because it felt like a win.’ Stewart says his arm only feels about 10 per cent weaker from this time last year. But does he worry about the future? ‘I don’t worry about myself, I just worry about you and the kids,’ he says to Louise, who is brought to tears for the only time of our interview when the same question is directed her way.
‘The answer is yes, I do,’ she eventually admits. ‘But I try not to let that consume me. I go to a picture in my head of Marcus playing with our grandchildren in the garden and that makes me smile.’
A FORTNIGHT ago, Stewart was guest of honour at Ipswich’s 1-1 draw with League one promotion rivals Plymouth. It was the first time he had returned to the club in a non-playing capacity since he left for Sunderland in 2002. But fans at Portman road have never forgotten their old goalscoring hero — and he was greeted on to the pitch at half-time to 29,000 supporters singing his name.
‘It was special,’ says Stewart, now the head of player development at non-League Yeovil. ‘I was worried about controlling my emotions. I don’t mind a little cry in private, but to cry in front of 29,000 people... I almost did.’
Stewart joined Ipswich from Huddersfield in February 2000 and helped them win promotion out of the Championship that same season. The following year, George Burley’s side finished fifth in the top flight and qualified for the UEFA Cup.
Stewart was behind only Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink in the race for the Premier League Golden Boot, scoring the winner at Liverpool and a hat-trick at Southampton, and was tipped to play for England.
‘It was undoubtedly the best time of my football career,’ he says. ‘Everyone would think because I didn’t get a call-up for my country, I’d be really disappointed. But I just put it to the back of my mind — and that’s exactly how I am dealing with this.’
Stewart says he has received ‘ overwhelming’ support from figures within football since he went public.
No one, though, has been more helpful than Stephen Darby, the 34- year- old former Bradford defender who was diagnosed with MND in 2018 and whose charity — the Darby rimmer MND Foundation — Stewart is supporting. Marcus and Louise completed the marathon- distance London Winter Walk yesterday and they are hosting a charity football match at Bristol rovers’ Memorial Stadium on May 13.
‘The fundraising is kind of where I have channelled everything to try and make it positive,’ says Louise. Her husband adds: ‘ She has got her head into the fundraising stuff because it keeps her away from the dark place. She thinks there is a solution to everything, but with this one, at this moment, there
‘Marcus came home from hospital with flowers. That doesn’t often happen, so I took a photo!’
‘Louise has got her head into the fundraising. It keeps her away from a dark place’
isn’t.’ The big hope is that funds raised could one day help find that solution. Recent studies have shown footballers are more likely to develop neurodegenerative disorders, primarily dementia, because of the impact of heading the ball. But does Stewart think his profession caused his condition?
‘I’m not so sure that MND is associated with heading the ball,’ he replies. ‘ I’m not saying Alzheimer’s isn’t, but I’m not so sure about MND. If that is the case, why aren’t there more footballers and rugby players with it?’
Talk of rugby brings us on to three men who have been at the forefront of the fight against MND. The late former Scotland rugby union star Doddie Weir, whose image is on the snood Stewart is wearing, MND fighter Rob Burrow, and his ex-Leeds Rhinos captain Kevin Sinfield, the England rugby union defence coach, who has raised more than £7million for MND charities.
‘I’ve had some good team-mates in my life but now I’ve got a new group of team-mates that I want to help. The manager is Rob Burrow, the captain is Kevin Sinfield and the vice- captain is Stephen Darby.’
Stewart has, understandably, opted not to watch Burrow’s recent heartwrenching BBC documentary, Living with MND. ‘I don’t want to be reminded of what I might feel like or be like one day,’ he says.
‘Stephen Darby gave me a great bit of advice at the start when he said, “Don’t allow your mind to go into a dark place” and if I watch those sort of things it will.’
And it is Stewart’s positivity that shines through as he ends with an upbeat message he has taken from Burrow himself. ‘Why worry about the game in six games’ time when there is a game next week?’ he adds. ‘I have nothing to be negative about. I am the lucky one.’