Yes, watching paint dry CAN save the world
BBC Radio 3, Monday, March 6, 2023:
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are said to be mulling over an invitation to the King’s Coronation in May.
A statement on behalf of the couple confirmed that they have been emailed about the event but it’s not yet clear if they’ll accept. And that’s the news. The time is three minutes past eight.
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are said to be mulling over the a la carte menu at an out- of-town restaurant near their home in Montecito, California. A statement on behalf of the couple confirmed that they have not yet decided between the Cobb salad and the sushi. A decision is expected imminently.
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are said to be mulling over whether to go out or stay in. A statement on behalf of the couple confirmed that they have been involved in discussions about the relative benefits of the two options.
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are said to be watching paint dry. A statement on behalf of the couple confirmed that they are pursuing their paint- watching in a spirit of universal unity and reconciliation on behalf of all the underprivileged people of the world.
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are said to be preparing a statement about how their paint-watching operation is going. In an exclusive interview on CNN — his first in more than two hours — Prince harry said: ‘I was never given the opportunity to watch paint dry in my childhood. It was always like “Oh, no, no, no, you must be able to find something better to do. You want to do this, you don’t want to do that.”
‘They tried to make out that the paint would dry whether or not I watched it. It was, like, brutal. And that’s something that, as an adult, I’ve struggled to cope with.’
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are said to be mulling over an invitation to watch paint dry at the newly decorated house of their neighbour Oprah Winfrey in Montecito, California.
In an exclusive interview with the entertainment editor of Psychology Today, the duchess said that over the coming years they are determined to let their children watch as much paint dry as possible.
‘ It’s, like, a very positive experience. It, like, teaches you that though paint of whatever colour or creed may at first be very, very wet, so wet it’s like, really, really wet, well, you only have to, like, wait long enough, and — here’s the amazing thing — it will eventually dry.
‘And to me that’s the most valuable life lesson of them all.’
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are said to be mulling over whether to sign up for a major Netflix series, harry and Meghan: Becoming Dry.
A spokesperson for the couple said: ‘harry and Meghan are proud to share their passion for watching paint dry with millions of others, harnessing their own expertise to push for safer, more inclusive paint- watching communities around the world.’ Speaking to her friend Gwyneth Paltrow for her podcast Spending And Caring, Meghan said: ‘harry and I want to shed light on paint and continue to watch it dry so as to empower and inspire others to protect this beautiful, fragile planet we call earth.’
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are said to be gazing at their own navels with great tenderness and compassion, in a specially curated session at the Archewell NavelGazing and enlightenment Retreat (ANGeR) in Montecito.
Prince harry reveals on the My Best Trauma podcast that learning to gaze at his own navel has done wonders for his mental health.
‘As a child, I, like, literally didn’t have a navel, or, if I did, I didn’t know where it was and was certainly not encouraged to gaze at it.
‘ Growing up, I suffered from unconscious bias against my own navel. I never gave it a chance to speak, so naturally it felt sidelined.
‘And that’s why Meghan and I are now on a mission to teach everyone to engage with their navels, and to listen to everything our navels have to tell us about our shared values.’
News just in:
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex announce their new Archewell Nursing home, dedicated to nursing all kinds of grievance, from the wholly inconsiderable to the very small.