Ephraim Hardcastle
MIGHT King Charles regret going ahead with the reported claim that his late mother’s dresser Angela Kelly is to lose her grace-andfavour home on the windsor estate? For Angela is currently scribbling the third volume of a trilogy approved by the late monarch. Miffed over eviction, she could include an account of her fall from grace (after the Queen’s death the locks on all the cupboards to which Angela had keys were changed). She could also tell her side of ‘tiaragate’ when, it has been claimed, she and harry fell out over what wedding headgear Meghan would wear. the daughter of a Liverpool docker, Angela is not to be trifled with. She was nicknamed AK-47 – a play on her initials and the Russian assault rifle – because of her rapid-fire temper.
GERMAN president Steinmeier’s head of protocol confirms that the fountain pen laid out for King Charles to sign a visitors’ book at Schloss Bellevue was ‘repeatedly checked’ to make sure it wouldn’t misbehave. ‘Our pen has never failed,’ he said. They know the King has a temper when they malfunction, famously muttering: ‘I can’t bear this bloody thing . . . every stinking time’ after he got inky fingers. But they needn’t have bothered. The King used his own pen. But did he bring his teddy bear, described by Harry as ‘a pitiful object with broken arms and dangly threads’, which always accompanies him?
BBC Coronation maestro huw edwards has given harry and Meghan the all-clear to attend Charles’s crowning. ‘we know there are problems,’ says huw. ‘My guess is that a lot of people will be rather pleased to see them because they are part of the family and it will be a good show of unity.’
BRITAIN’S Got Talent judge Amanda Holden, pictured, describes as ‘hilarious’ the ‘huge public interest’ in her breasts. ‘I wish my boobs had Spitting Image puppets because they’d have quite a lot to say for themselves. In fact, maybe they should write a book,’ she chuckles before addressing her bosoms. ‘Would you like to do a book, girls? I think you’d write a really good book together, wouldn’t you?’ Not a Booker, Amanda – more a Boobie prize?
WILL Ken Bruce be covering eurovision for his new radio station? A stalwart of Radio 2 coverage, he reveals that a free Baileys bar was provided by the BBC – and when the hospitality was withdrawn his team smuggled the liqueur through in a one-litre water bottle. when queried, they said it was milky coffee. hic!
Lorraine Kelly remains unsure if fellow broadcaster Eamonn Holmes complimented her appearance when he said: ‘We are lucky we have wee round faces because there are no wrinkles on a balloon!’ Barrage in the case of well-nourished Eamonn?
PAUL O’Grady was even more Irish than he boasted. his birth name on his Irish passport was Padraic, so his real moniker was Paddy O’Grady. to be sure to be sure.