Miss Elusive has just what I’m looking for

As I walked round the department store

In a relaxed and casual manner, I was soon approached by a lady assistant.

Her badge said she was Anna. She politely inquired if I needed help.

‘Is there anything I can do?’

I said I’d like to just wander around,

Hoping she then would shoo.

My hopes were in vain, she remained nearby,

My request had gone unheeded,

Occasionally asking in a tiresome voice:

‘Let me know if there’s anything needed.’

To shake her off

I thought I’d ask

For an item not often requested

Then she’d disappear to hunt it down

And I could walk around unmolested.

So I told her I’d been trying to find

A portrait of our Queen,

Driving a racing car, crown on head,

Wearing British Racing Green.

She smiled then went off to have a look,

And so disappeared from sight.

Aware there would never be such a thing,

She’d be there half the night.

So imagine my shock when, a little later,

From through the stock room door,

She smilingly emerged with the portrait.

I was shaken to the core!

So I decided to set her another task,

One she would surely fail.

She hurried away in a spirited search

That would be to no avail.

She was hunting for a portrait of King Charles

I told her I would buy,

He’d wear a plastic nose and big rabbit ears,

Advertising apple pie.

I was aware this portrait would never exist

So continued walking around.

The next thing I knew she had found it,

And the frame was leather-bound.

I was so impressed by these searching skills

That I asked her out on a date.

We went to a Chinese restaurant

Where we both would celebrate.

The menu I found very confusing,

But, of course, Anna saved the day,

Finding just what I had been looking for —

Almost straight away.

Norman J. Myson, Burnham-on-Crouch, Essex.