Bonnie Tyler’s total eclipse of the big hair
...OR DID THE SINGER REALLY HAVE TO APOLOGISE FOR THE SIZE OF HER HAIRDO?
The OAF — the Offence and Apology Federation — has never been busier. So far this week, Susanna Reid has apologised to Damian Lewis after ed Balls, her co-host on ITV’s Good Morning Britain, mistook him for Benedict Cumberbatch, and Japan’s top boyband agency has apologised for the predatory misbehaviour of its late founder. And it’s still only Tuesday.
But how will you score in part two of The Great Apology Quiz?
1. In 2015, Justin Bieber reached No 1 with his song Sorry, but which one of these offences has he never committed?
a) Throwing eggs over a neighbour’s fence. b) Shoplifting a Kinder Surprise egg from Walmart. c) Attempting to take a pet monkey into Germany. d) Using racial slurs in videos made when he was 14.
2) ‘She is very sorry if anyone felt let down’ read a statement issued on behalf of Bonnie Tyler (right) last month. What was she apologising for?
a) Jumping the queue at Waitrose. b) Allowing her big hair to block the view of people behind her at a performance of Waiting For Godot at the Young Vic. c) Miming Total eclipse Of The heart on ITV’s This Morning. d) Being rendered speechless when asked her opinion of the Middle east situation on Question Time.
3) Which one of these has Boris Johnson not apologised for?
a) Attending an illegal party during lockdown. b) Appointing Chris Pincher deputy chief whip. c) Claiming the NhS would be £350 million a week better off after Brexit. d) Downing Street staff being disrespectful to cleaners.
4) Which film star made virulently anti-Semitic remarks to a police officer who had stopped him on suspicion of drink-driving in 2006, later saying ‘I acted like a person completely out of control... I am deeply ashamed of everything I said, and I apologise to anyone who I have offended’?
a) Russell Crowe. b) Robert Downey Jr. c) Mel Gibson. d) Dame Judi Dench.
5) In December 2021, a Roman Catholic diocese in Sicily made a public apology. For what?
a) A priest had stripped off his robes and streaked outside the Cathedral in Palermo. b) A bishop told a group of children that Father Christmas did not exist. c) They had licensed a pole-dancing club in a church. d) The diocese had persecuted local druids in the 9th century.
6) How many years after banning Dante from Florence did the city’s officials issue a public apology?
a) Seven. b) 17. c) 70. d) 706.
7) Which one of these apologies has still not happened?
a) Labour’s Angela Rayner apologises for calling Tory MPs ‘scum’. b) Diane Abbott apologises for drinking alcohol on public transport. c) Sky News presenter Kay Burley apologises for breaking lockdown rules. d) Prince harry apologises for invading Prince William’s privacy.
8) Team the apology with the apologiser:
a) ‘I’m sorry that my behaviour in the past has upset people.’ b) ‘I am just so contrite I cannot say.’ c) ‘I am not without faults and I am far short of perfect.’ d) ‘I misled people, including even my wife. I deeply regret that.’ i) Former U.S. President Bill Clinton, having had an affair with intern Monica Lewinsky. ii) Former home secretary Priti Patel, after an internal inquiry found that she had bullied home Office staff. iii) The Duchess of York, having accepted money from Jeffrey epstein to help pay off her debts. iv) Golfer Tiger Woods, having been discovered cheating on his wife.
Answers: 1b; 2c; 3c; 4c; 5b; 6d; 7d; 8a,ii; b,iii; c,iv; d,i.