Royal rift reminds me of my family

DEAR BEL,

I WAS so saddened, watching the spectacular and wonderful Coronation, to see royal protocol treating Prince Harry in the way it did. Heart-breaking.

I think convention should never have been allowed to exclude him, leaving him as a spectator at his father’s Coronation. I am, of course, aware of his actions which caused this situation. It all makes me sad.

A similar situation has happened in my family — every family occasion ruined because one pair of relatives say something deemed unforgivable to another couple. There it is, our lovely family split for ever, despite my attempts to put it right.

This is reflected in almost all my friends’ families. Why can’t we forgive and try to forget before it’s too late?

After the royal event, news and comment have been full of judgment.

Although I also judge, I despair of the human race and fear for my grandchildren — because technology is allowing anyone the chance to express opinions which are sometimes harsh and negative.

Why, oh, why can’t we express love and care rather than hatred and live in peace with those who disagree with our feelings?

I can only pray that we learn to treat everyone as we would wish to be treated, a quote from our maker that is so simple and yet so difficult to achieve.

PAULA, it would be impossible for me to agree more wholeheartedly with your final sentiments, as well as your reservations about technology and fear for the future. Regular readers of this column will remember how often I counsel forgiveness before we are claimed by the grave.

Faced as I am with so much unhappiness, deceit and anger, I despair of people’s seeming inability to realise that resentment and jealousy are a burden they impose upon themselves, an intolerable weight.

Your own family issues have obviously bruised you badly. But I read what you say about Prince harry (or the Duke of Sussex; titles seem to matter to them) and cannot believe you blame ‘ royal protocol’ for . . . what exactly?

Where he was sitting? What role would you have liked him to play?

I’ll make it absolutely clear that I adored the swashbuckling, funny younger Prince and thought his wedding day one of the happiest ever, with a beautiful wife who could (and surely would) do so much good. Like you, I am very sad indeed that everything went sour.

You say you are ‘aware of his actions which have caused this situation’ and I’m afraid that is now the beginning and the end of the story. After the Sussexes’ endless complaints, self-pity, that awful Oprah interview, films and a massive best-seller telling harry’s side of the ‘story’ and vilifying his family, the King invited the Duke and Duchess to his Coronation.

At every point he has expressed love for his younger son. In return, harry prevaricated, then generously decided he would come and she would stay in California for their son’s birthday. Free choice. So the unhappy Duke made a whistle- stop visit. Again — choice. What were the options?

I have no doubt the King is still entirely ready to forgive — just as he would wish to be forgiven. As would we all. But I’m sorry, Paula, it just isn’t that easy. I wish it were.

But in the words of the medieval mystic, Julian of norwich: ‘Peace and love are always in us, but we are not always alive to peace and love.’