Washing up together can beat the thrill of having a steamy affair!

Amy Nuttall, the Downton abbey and Emmerdale actress, is reportedly back with her husband after he walked out on their 11- year marriage and two children in February.

andrew Buchan embarked on an affair with his co- star leila Farzad during filming of the BBC crime drama Better. the chemistry between the two on set had been ‘electric’, apparently.

Well, I’m sure it came nowhere close to the sparks that flew once amy discovered what her husband, best known for his turn in Broadchurch, was really up to when she thought he was away working.

Failure to separate the fantasy of steamy roles from everyday life is an occupational hazard for some actors. take Brad Pitt and angelina Jolie on the set of mr & mrs Smith, when he was still married to Jennifer aniston. meg Ryan and Russell Crowe while filming Proof Of life. Or, most famously, liz taylor and Richard Burton, who was mark antony to her Cleopatra.

all too often, the ensuing scorn falls most heavily on the heads of the women involved, not the cheating husbands. a widely quoted source on the set of Better described leila, a married mother of one, as giving the appearance of ‘being single’ and called her the sort of woman ‘you would be better not to leave alone with your husband’.

That kind of narrative belongs to the 1950s, when the women — either the one left at home or the mistress — were blamed for a man who let his trousers do the thinking. Both Buchan and Farzad surely knew what they were doing and the risks they were taking.

Not surprisingly, their fling didn’t stand the test of time and Farzad returned to her husband. Sex, deceit and betrayal are not known to be ties that bind a couple together for the longer term.

Betrayal in any relationship is painful and difficult enough, but when it is so public — on front pages and showbusiness websites — it must be doubly humiliating.

Initially, a devastated amy demanded a divorce and friends said she wanted ‘a new start’. Instead, Buchan is back at the marital home and telling pals the couple are ‘healing’.

So has amy done the right thing? In taking him back, I am sure she wasn’t just thinking about herself as the spurned wife but as a mother of two young children. Having Dad back home must have been something they desperately wanted.

WHat I suspect is that she put aside her own hurt feelings and, with the immediate shock and pain receding, decided her marriage was worth another chance.

as for her errant husband, I reckon that once passion was spent, the familiar comforts of home, the well-tuned contentment that comes from a long-term partnership and dayto-day contact with his children, were what he yearned for.

those of us who have made it past the decade mark in a marriage know how much of the interaction between husband and wife flows around the children. their wants and needs, their worries and achievements, take priority. that is real family life, not on- set fantasy.

yes, it is often boring, difficult and stressful. there are always dishes to be cleared, washing to put on and someone to be chauffeured somewhere.

But within that mundane routine there is stability and a deep- rooted love which can become taken for granted and so allow lust to fill the void.

I hope amy and andrew, two hugely talented actors, do work it through. But a word of caution to mr Buchan: he may be wearing his wedding ring, but it’s notable that she is yet to start wearing hers. He has work to do.