Ephraim Hardcastle
WHEN King Charles last visited Australia in 2018, he infuriated republicans by bringing along a yeoman to help him get dressed. The ‘baggage man with an ancient title’, as one politician described him, was part of a 13-strong entourage whose £160,000 bill angered locals. now ten months before the King and Queen make their first official visit as monarchs, the Australian Republic Movement has launched a petition, stating: ‘Aussie taxpayers should not pay for it. More than 78 per cent of Australians believe that the royal family – not Australian taxpayers – should foot the bill.’ Would it soothe the ire of begrudgers Down Under if Charles left the travelling yeoman at home?
TURNER Prize winner Jesse Darling’s junk metal sculptures have enraged Countess Bathurst. ‘This is not art,’ she spouts. ‘Why is the winner of the Turner Prize required to create something you’d most likely find in a building site skip?’ Lady Bathurst, who once worked as a bartender, adds: ‘Recycling is a good thing, all for it, but do we really have to have it rammed down our throats disguised as “art”?
PLAYING the late Queen in Diana: The Musical, Loose Women star Denise Welch recalls how she berated Prince Andrew for making ‘disrespectful comments’ about Diana. ‘It was at a celebrity dinner and I’d had a vodka or two,’ says the now teetotal Denise. ‘As he departed, Andrew rudely remarked to my then husband Tim Healy: “Rather you than me, sir.”’
GAVIN & Stacey star Alison Steadman, pictured, had her back to the audience when she appeared nude on stage in The Prime Of Miss Jean Brodie. But she hadn’t expected a peeping Tom in the rafters. ‘ Somebody had crawled in the stage door,’ she remembers. ‘He went up the stairs and was looking down on me. That is sad, isn’t it?’
EX-TEEN idol Donny Osmond’s UK tour has triggered frenzied scenes as fans in cheaper seats stampede the stage, pushing past those in the front row. A seated OAP, waving a Puppy Love banner, said: ‘These women are mostly in their 60s, old enough to know better and are spoiling it for the rest of us.’ At least they’re not smothering Donny, 65, with jumbo bloomers!
HAS Denny Laine’s death finally solved the mystery of why he abruptly left his friend Paul McCartney’s band Wings in 1981? His departure followed the cancellation of a Japanese tour after McCartney was jailed for nine days for possession of marijuana. When McCartney was released and deported, he refused to compensate Denny for lost tour fees. Furious Denny left, refusing all entreaties to return. He and Macca didn’t speak for 20 years.
SOON to serve his millionth signature soufflé Suissesse at Le Gavroche before it closes, Michel Roux Jr chortles over the Gruyere cheese and cream creation being compared to Leonardo da Vinci’s masterpiece Mona Lisa. ‘To be honest,’ he says, ‘I’m sick to the back teeth of it.’