Keep it quiet! Strict rules for Geri’s pool by church

THEY have, together, weathered a squall of indignities following accusations of ‘inappropriate behaviour’ made earlier this year by a female employee.

But might Red Bull Formula 1 team boss Christian Horner, the subject of those accusations and who strongly denied them, and his wife, former Spice Girl Geri Halliwell, now have to reconcile themselves to regular monitoring of their private passions — at least when in the grounds of their 15th century manor house in an idyllic village on the Oxfordshire-Northamptonshire border?

I ask not because of any further machinations at Red Bull, whose inquiry completely exonerated Horner, but because of the latest development in the couple’s battle to install a 40ft x 16ft swimming pool. The proposal provoked howls of fury from fellow villagers. One, I disclosed, categorised the Horners’ scheme as ‘ the height of disrespect’, arguing that the pool would be offensively close to the village church, raising the possibility of mourners at funerals being ‘distracted by screaming, shouting and splashing’ as a loved one was interred.

Now, I can reveal, the local council’s environmental protection officer has leaped in, saying that ‘ appropriate safeguarding conditions’ must be met. She recommends that, from midnight till 7am, there should be no ‘overall noise’ above ‘background levels’. For the rest of the time, noise should be less than five decibels (dB) above those levels.

To put that in context, a whispered conversation would usually peak at 25dB, while the sound of rustling leaves equates to ten decibels. Formula 1 engines routinely reach 140dB, while a Spice Girls concert would be just 10dB lower.

Hand-held sound meters can be had for £100 — a price some of the Horners’ neighbours may feel well worth splashing out for.