DON’T WANT TO SETTLE FOR HIM

Dear Coleen

I recently broke up with my boyfriend after a year dating.

I feel really upset about it but, the truth is, I was never totally sure about the relationship from the start.

This is going to sound bad but he wasn’t as smart, funny or good-looking as I really wanted him to be.

Sexually, things were OK, but I never felt lust for him. However, he is a really good guy and treated me like a princess.

I just didn’t want to “settle” because I’ve always had a certain idea of my perfect man. Am I being unrealistic? Should I have hung on to him? Help!

Coleen says

Why hang on to someone you don’t find attractive? You’d only be doing it in case there’s no one better round the corner.

Look, I don’t think you should ever settle. When we’re younger, many of us have an idea of what our dream partner will be like but, actually, most of us don’t end up with someone who’s anything like that ideal.

Here’s the thing – you’ll never find the person who’s in your head because he’s a fantasy figure and doesn’t exist.

It’s dangerous to get hung up on certain qualities and expect a partner to be totally perfect. No man (or woman) is perfect, but there will be someone who’s perfect for you.

When you do meet the right one, often you can’t work out why there’s an amazing chemistry between you.

But you’ll recognise it when it happens and it might happen