Daily Mirror (Northern Ireland)
Donna Maria has helped dozens flee their abusive relationships ..& escaped from her own
Work of La Dolce Vita Project recognised
Lidl Northern Ireland is once again demonstrating its ongoing commitment to communities across Northern Ireland with the Lidl Community Works initiative.
The firm will make a total of £6,000 available to three shortlisted groups in each of its 38 stores here.
That’s £4,000 for the winner while two runners-up will receive £1,000 each.
Following the call for nominations in May and June, more than 114 organisations have been shortlisted and now they will need your votes.
Over the next few weeks, we’ll be showcasing all the groups and how you can vote in your local Lidl store.
Today we bring you a Co Derry group in the running for this group’s award.
IT’S a strange place to find out that you have changed and perhaps saved someone’s life – the middle of an aisle in Sainsbury’s.
But that’s exactly where Donna Maria Logue found out that she’d help turn the life around of a complete stranger.
The mum of three has spent the last 20 months giving hope to those who are suffering horrific domestic abuse.
Unfortunately, it’s an issue that the Derry woman knows all too much about having endured 10 years of hell at the cruel hands of her ex-partner.
But even in her darkest moments the 39-yearold knew if she managed to leave the damaging relationship she wanted to help others escape.
Her selfless ideal became a reality when La Dolce Vita Project was started in her bedroom in January 2016.
Although she knows she has helped dozens of people escape abusive relationships it wasn’t until a chance meeting in a supermarket that the charity’s life-changing impact was driven home.
Donna Maria said: “One day when I was down in Sainsbury’s she tapped me on the shoulder and said, ‘Are you Donna from the Dolce Vita project?’
“I didn’t know her, but she told me her name and said, ‘I’ve been watching your Facebook since last year and I’m four weeks out of that relationship. I’ve given up my home and everything but I’ve never been happier. I just wanted to thank you’.
“She was watching our page since January last year but she was never able to send us a message or lift the phone.
“But any time we were putting up posts she would have taken them on board and done her own healing to give her strength.
“I was just amazed as I had never meet this woman or even had a conservation with her. But it showed me the power that social media posting can have, the support it can give. It made me aware that there are people who are watching our page that still cannot speak but we are still helping them.
“It was unbelievable.”
The chance encounter is a testament to just how far Donna Maria and her charity have come.
The grandmother of one and her La Dolce Vita team have quickly became an essential port of call for women and men, as well as their families, desperate to break the domestic abuse cycle.
Drawing on her own experience Donna Maria knows exactly what it is like to walk in the shoes of the people she now helps. She said: “I had to talk to myself and realise I did deserve better and there was a way out for me but I needed to realise that I could do it.
“I had a great team behind me. I couldn’t fault the people that helped me – they were wonderful, but the effect everything was having on my mental health was very bad.
“Nobody recognised there were so many times I wanted to end my own life. That went unrecognised by multiple agencies.
“Even when you are out of the relationship you are still living with the aftermath and have to live with the trauma triggers.
“You are still on edge – watching your back – because you think this person [the abuser] is watching you. After you have left them you have
to break that cycle to ensure that you are staying out. You have to change your whole life, your whole routine and this is about starting a new life on your own and that is pretty scary.
“It can take 35 or 36 times to finally leave. “I cannot stress enough to family and friends no matter how frustrated they are and how many times their daughter, son, aunt or uncle goes back into these relationships, ‘stay with them’.
“If they lose contact their daughter or son becomes further isolated and is in more danger. They will end up staying in that relationship because they feel they have nobody.
“No matter how frustrated you are let them know you love them and are there for them and will help them get out. Once the abusers know they [their victims] are on their own that’s like waving a red flag for them to do whatever they want.”
The charity has grown rapidly in response to the need from victims and is now counselling 160 sufferers of domestic abuse while also offering practical support in helping sufferers leave abusers and legalities surrounding the court process.
Donna Maria said: “What people don’t understand is that it takes multiple people to help.
“There is a safety plan connected in with the police. It’s getting orders through the courts, speaking to solicitors, speaking to social services. It’s a massive support plan and we’re now part of that.” The charity has implemented 49 safety plans to help sufferers to start new lives throughout Northern Ireland
Donna Maria said: “We look at things like finding their documents. What name is their bank account held in? Is there a joint bank account? Have you a mortgage? Does their ex-partner have access to Facebook?
“We advise them to start gathering up clothes, when they decide to leave but don’t do it all at once were it might be noticed.
“Start to make a plan to leave. If the person abusing is constantly in the house then how do you gather up clothes? We’d suggest to put bits in children’s schoolbags or put together an extra sports bag. That can take a lot of time.” The inspirational Derry woman has nothing but a positive message to preach for victims trapped in abusive relationships or those trying to put their lives back together after leaving.
Even the name of her charity is full of optimism for the future.
“La Dolce Vita means, ‘the good life’ or ‘the sweet life,’ in Italian.
“I didn’t want anything to be related to domestic abuse because the charity is about empowering victims.”
To find out more about the La Dolce Vita Project or for their help check out Facebook page www.facebook.com/derrylondonderry or telephone 028 71 377272.