Dinner for two

MASTERCHEF

THERE may be a gazillion cooking competitions out there, but sometimes the original is the best.

Masterchef is the veteran, the stalwart, providing us with an annual dose of food mayhem.

Like a comfy pair of slippers, we know exactly what to expect as the seven-week viewing marathon begins. Our waistlines should just be grateful that we can’t actually eat the food.

However, it’s a testing time for judges Gregg Wallace and John Torode as this 14th series kicks off. Pudding fanatic Gregg admits he’s usually down at the gym in preparation for belt-loosening season. Although I guess there’s always the food poisoning threat.

So, get ready for the usual fare – 56 amateurs battle it out over the heats, while we count how many times Gregg yells “Cor!” or John raises an arched eyebrow.

In tonight’s first heat, contestants raid the Masterchef Market to produce one dish in an hour and 10 minutes.

Mum-of-three Louise is struggling to stay cool, such is her passion for John and Gregg.

“I want to give Gregg a little cuddle,” she says.

Meanwhile, judo expert James decides that purple cauliflower is the way forward, while Louise has an issue with the size of her (meat) balls.

Then, of course, after the worst chefs depart, there’s a bit where they have to cook two courses in a blind panic for some intimidating guests – in this instance, finalists and the champ from last year.

But never mind them, we’re all food critics now!

BBC1, 9pm JUDGES John and Gregg