PETA’S PC brigade is so pig-headed

I‘ve been veggie for five years now and am well used to the downside.

Not the lack of corned beef sarnies with brown sauce (although the thought of one is making me salivate), but the boring barbs from people who misguidedly believe I now feel superior: “Don’t carrots have feelings then...? Ooh, nice pair of leather shoes there... etc, etc”.

Vegan pressure groups like PETA only harden such views when they start campaigns claiming the use of animal idioms is akin to racism, so instead of saying “kill two birds with one stone” we should say “feed two birds with one scone”.

Well, on behalf of all veggies falsely accused of being sanctimonious smuggoes, I’d like to say to PETA this is the straw that broke the camel’s back: Sod these cock-and-bull stories and call off the dogs because going ape over such irrelevancies makes us non-animal eaters look like one-trick ponies who are as conceited as a barber’s cat, when in reality we’re as sick as a dog because we don’t give a rat’s ass about getting on our high horse.

Phew! Glad I got that monkey off my back.