JUST GRIN AND BEAR IT

Daily Mirror (Northern Ireland) - - BRIAN READE -

Around this time of year I love to wind up the PC Gone Mad brigade by re­fer­ring to Christ­mas as Win­ter­val, prais­ing Greggs for re­plac­ing Je­sus in a na­tiv­ity scene with a sausage roll and wish­ing them a happy hol­i­days.

If you want a novel way of do­ing that this year, why not push through the door of a heav­ily il­lu­mi­nated house a fake po­lice note de­mand­ing they take down all of their lights as David At­ten­bor­ough has proof that ev­ery bulb knocks a minute off a po­lar bear’s life. Then wait for the ex­plo­sion. Well it is the sea­son of good­will.

Art critic Walde­mar Januszczak slammed the video and film medium which won this year’s Turner Prize, call­ing it “old hat”. Char­lotte Prodger’s £25,000 win­ning en­try, a film about iden­tity pol­i­tics, was shot on her iphone, which Januszczak said was “so easy to do it at­tracts the un­tal­ented”.Fab­u­lous. That’s my en­try for next year’s com­pe­ti­tion sorted. A col­lec­tion of videos of the dan­gling bits of my 60-some­thing gen­i­talia, en­ti­tled “a load of old balls”. How can the Turner Prize judges re­sist?

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