WORK IS STRESSING US BOTH OUT

Dear Coleen

My husband and I are arguing a lot right now because we’re both under so much stress at work. His company is going through a restructure and, although he’s recently learnt he’s keeping his job, he’s going to have to take on more responsibility alongside someone he doesn’t like.

Meanwhile, I’m working really long hours managing a team of people who moan and complain constantly.

I have very little personal time, it’s all about work and nothing else, and we’re taking it out on each other. I just don’t know how to break the cycle – any ideas?

Coleen says

OK, you need to make time for each other (yes, it is possible) and use it well. This is your life

and you can work until your dying breath and someone else will just come in and do your job.So, what I’m saying is, get some perspective. Sometimes it’s worth doing a bit less if it means you can create some space for other things.I think the trouble is, the more you work and the more you earn, the higher your expectations become and you feel trapped by having to bring in a certain amount of money.Also, if you both realise why you’re arguing – the stress of work – and can talk about it, then it instantly becomes easier to deal with.Acknowledging the problem will make you both more understanding of each other. Then you can talk about how to solve it in the long term.