STRUGGLING TO FIT IN AFTER MOVE

Dear Coleen

My daughter, who’s 17, is really struggling to make friends at her new sixthform college, and it’s heartbreaking for me as her mum.

We moved house in the summer because my husband got relocated with his job and I knew it wasn’t good timing as our daughter was half-way through her A-level course.

I’d hoped she would have settled better as she’s usually pretty outgoing and popular. How can I help her?

Coleen says

She’s around the same age as my daughter Ciara, so I know it’s a hard transition at that age into adulthood. Even if you hadn’t moved, I think there would be new challenges, but it’s harder because she’s also coping with finding her feet in a new place and a new college.

The thing is, this time next year, college will be over and all her classmates will going somewhere else – to university or into the workforce. It’s a relatively short period of time, so encourage her to focus on why she’s there and what she wants to achieve to get to the next stage.

I think it’s also helpful to tell her that it’s completely normal to feel a bit lost when you relocate or start something new, whatever age you are. It does take a bit of time to find people you connect with and you have to make a bit of effort too.

Even if she connects with just one person, she’ll instantly feel more at home and things will snowball from there.

Keep the channel of communication open by just letting her know you’re always there to talk.