FRIEND’S DISLOYALTY BUGS ME

Dear Coleen

Many years ago my friend and I worked together in a small village shop. At the time, my life was at rock bottom and I confided in her about all my problems.

Then one morning our lovely boss called me over and said he’d overheard my friend talking to a customer, telling her all my business and pulling me to pieces!

I was very hurt and upset, but I didn’t say anything to her at the time and never have. Since then, I’ve never told her anything about my private life.

The strange thing is, my life took an amazing turn for the better after that and I guess I forgot about it.

However, it still bugs me that I never said anything and I wonder if I should as we’re still friends. What do you think?

Coleen says

Firstly, well done for turning your life around. There’s been a positive outcome and you’re still friends with this lady.

However, if you had confronted her, you may not have been able to carry on working together and would probably have fallen out. It could have been toxic and horrible, but thankfully it’s not.

Yes, it was unkind and she betrayed your trust, but I think it probably says more about her and where she was in her life at the time – clearly not in such a great place either.

You’ve realised you can’t share personal information with her and can only tell her stuff that you don’t mind others knowing about.

I think we’ve all got a friend like that – I certainly have! And we have other friends who you can tell your deepest darkest secrets to and know they’ll never breathe a word. We have different types of friends who bring something different to the table – and that’s OK.