FEELING READY FOR LOVE AFTER 15 YEARS ALONE

Dear Coleen

I’m a woman in my 50s and divorced my husband 15 years ago after he had an affair. He stayed with the other woman and they’re now married. I haven’t been so lucky, though. I haven’t had a relationship since the marriage ended and just put everything I had into bringing up our two kids, who both left home last year.

For the first time in a long time, I miss being in a relationship and I’m open to dating again, but it’s terrifying and I’m not sure I can start again at my age. I’d love any words of wisdom.

Coleen says

Join the club, love! I hear you and, I’ll be honest, I found it hard to redefine my role in life when I hit my 50s and realised my kids had all grown up and needed me less, and I found myself divorced – again. It’s tough to shift the focus to yourself when you’ve spent so long directing all your love and energy towards your kids.

Being open to dating is a good first step – you’re in the right mindset now. You could ask your kids or a friend to help you with an online dating profile, be more open to social opportunities, join clubs and, most importantly, say yes if you’re invited on a date.

It might lead to something, it might not. But the more you go on dates and connect and welcome new people into your life, the less daunting it’ll become.

Honestly, I’m not sure it really matters what age you are – dating is always nerve-jangling and you have to remember that the other person will be nervous, too.

Don’t arrive on a date with big expectations because you’re setting yourself up for disappointment, but just try to enjoy it and be yourself. You might make some friends as well as a potential partner. Good luck.