BORED... AND HE WANTS SEX WITH OTHER WOMEN

Dear Coleen

My boyfriend and I are both 25, we’ve been together since we were 18 and currently live together.

We’ve been arguing a bit lately and things have been quite boring for a while, but we love each other and I can’t imagine my life without him.

Last weekend, we got talking about “us” and he dropped a bombshell of an idea, which left me in floods of tears. He suggested having an open relationship for a while as we have nothing to compare each other to because we got together so young. I haven’t slept with anyone else and he’s only slept with one other girl before me.

I don’t want to lose him, but this feels too much of a risk and I’m devastated that he wants to sleep with other women. Can you help?

Coleen says

I don’t think an open relationship is the way to go to help you decide on your future and stop your boyfriend feeling like he’s missed out. However, maybe a proper break is what you need to work out how you feel about each other.

I think it can be tough when you get together so young to keep the momentum going but, also, you change a lot as people and discover more about who you are and what you want from life. Sometimes you realise you want different things.

I don’t believe staying (and living) together while dating other people is going to work.

It will just drive both of you mad with jealousy and has the potential to cause lots of arguments and heartache.

A proper break will give you time apart and the chance to miss each other, and to work out if the grass really is greener.

Just make sure you set some boundaries, so things don’t drift on indefinitely.

Good luck.