Daily Mirror (Northern Ireland)
MUM’S REACTED BADLY TO OUR SPANISH MOVE
MY OWN LAND
Dear Coleen
I’m a woman in my early 30s and I’m married to a great guy, who is Spanish, and we have a three-year-old daughter.
We’ve felt stuck for a while living in a cramped flat, so after having countless lockdown discussions, we’ve decided to move to the area in Spain where my husband’s from.
The problem is, my mum has reacted very badly to the news, which makes me mad because she’s rarely been there for us, even pre-pandemic. About 18 months ago, she met a new boyfriend and he takes up most of her time. I can’t imagine we’d see her any less, even if we do move to Spain!
How can I help her to see reason when she’s taking this personally?
Coleen says
From your mum’s point of view this move means having to cut the apron strings and it’s really hard.
My son Jake said to me recently that he might live in Sweden for six months and my initial reaction was: “What do you mean – why would you do that?” Of course it’s because he’s young and he can, but it’s hard as a mum.
This move is what you need to do for your marriage and the wellbeing of your family, so you shouldn’t be pressured out of it.
It sounds like your mum is happy with her partner and won’t be on her own. Hopefully, when she does realise that it doesn’t mean seeing you any less than she did before, she’ll feel better about it. Also, it’s only a couple of hours on a plane.
You should also emphasise the positives – how good it will be for your family, the opportunities you’ll have, how great it will be when she comes to visit and so on.
But don’t make it about her and turn it into an argument, as much as you want to say: “You never come and see us anyway.”
ITV, 8pm
Joanna is in Scotland, where she drives a herd of Highland cattle and visits Eilean Donan Castle, the location for her very first episode of The New Avengers, taking the opportunity to strike some Purdy moves.
Then crossing to Northern Ireland, she visits the Dark Hedges, made famous in Game of Thrones, before having a laugh with Saoirse-monica Jackson, star of hit show Derry Girls. There’s also time for some spray paint artistry while finding out about the charity Children in Crossfire.