And so to the BIG QUESTIONS

Of the week

1

Police saying going dogging is not essential travel. What if you plead the Cummings defence and say you were testing your eyes through steamed-up windows?

2

Only 100 of the 15,000 daily arrivals in the UK staying in Covid quarantine hotels.

Why don’t they put up some fake reviews on Tripadvisor to tempt them?

3

If Rishi Sunak is unsure how to help the economy at next week’s Budget why not look at everything George Osborne did and do the opposite?

4

How chuffed will Simon Cowell be that big flares are coming back into fashion meaning he can get away with three-inch heels on his elevated shoes?

5

Now we’ve been told to call Mr Potato Head just Potato Head, will we have to do the same with Mr Wayne Rooney and just call him

Wayne Rooney?

Spot the diffference... ...yep, they’re both muppets.

One’s curvy and demure (whose show now comes with a warning about its age-old offensive views).

And the other is, well, full of manure... (whose Twitter could do with that warning).

Fresh from fatshaming overweight disabled people and blaming them for spreading the virus last week, Anthea Turner – dubbed “scornful” by Piers Morgan – has now been accused of throwing a spa party at her home, complete with mobile beauticians.

Guests were reported to have gathered in her £700,000 South West London apartment to enjoy haircuts, pedicures and rubdowns – with one, unbelievably insisting it was “a business meeting”.

I say unbelievably because the “meeting” was said to have lasted several hours.

And when you look at some of her past business decisions, you’d think snow time was spent on them at all.