Daily Mirror (Northern Ireland)
HE’D RATHER WATCH PORN THAN HAVE SEX
Dear Coleen
My husband is into porn and I’d go so far as to say he’s addicted to it. It’s affected our sex life, to the point of him not being interested in me any more.
I’ve tried my best to engage with him sexually, but the problem is he’s already satisfied by what he’s watching and looking at.
It’s got worse over the years and I don’t think I can stand much more of it. I feel unattractive, unloved and completely taken for granted – I don’t even know why he wants to be in this marriage to be honest and I’m seriously thinking of calling it quits.
Coleen says
Porn can become an addiction, so it might be useful to get some information online that you can show him. You have to be strong and explain how serious this is for you – it’s stripping you of confidence and your relationship is in trouble because he’s totally disconnected from you. If he wants to save the relationship, then he might agree to get help from a psychosexual counsellor.
While I’m not anti-porn, when it gets to a point where you feel bad about yourself and you’re not having sex with your partner at all, then it’s a huge problem.
I know it’s hard to have these conversations, but you have to address it and you have to mean what you say. If the situation continues, you’re in danger of losing all self-esteem.
If your husband wants an actual relationship, he needs to start engaging with you, otherwise you have to think seriously whether you’re compatible in the long term.
My wife and I really enjoy Grayson’s Art Club on Channel 4 and are so pleased it’s back for a second series. Artist Grayson Perry and his wife Philippa are a really quirky and interesting couple.
His artistic skills are incredible and he has some fascinating guests. It’s an hour of complete entertainment.
Tony Howard, Salford
Hopefully, soon we will be coming to the end of lockdown but I implore Boris to put a ban on foreign travel to prevent new variants coming into the country. If this is not put in place then, all our sacrifice could have been for nothing.
Frederick Hodder, Martock, Somerset