HE PROPOSED, BUT I CAN’T RELY ON HIM

My boyfriend and I are young, I’m 23 and he’s 24, and he’s just asked me to marry him. I’m in love with him – we have a very passionate and close relationship – but he’s the type of person who goes with the flow in life.

He’s not a planner, doesn’t seem concerned about money and just thinks we’ll “figure things out”. I have an OK job, but he drifts from job to job and often has long spells of being unemployed.

I haven’t told my parents yet that he’s proposed – I said “yes” by the way – because I think my dad will hit the roof.

He kind of puts up with my boyfriend, but I know he thinks he’s not responsible enough and that I could do better. Is love enough and can we figure things out as we go along?

I’d love your opinion.

Coleen says

Well, I think every relationship is about figuring things out as you go along – that’s life. I know you’ve accepted his proposal, but it doesn’t mean you have to get married straight away. Why not suggest that before you plan a wedding, you sit down together and work out a few things in your life?

Be honest that flitting from job to job worries you and you think it will be hard to plan your future if he doesn’t have a steady income and some stability.

You’re obviously having some doubts – it’s not just your dad – and I’d probably have concerns, too. But there is no rush to walk down the aisle.

Take things slowly, enjoy being engaged and start figuring things out. And don’t plan the wedding yet. He might need a few more growing-up years and maybe if you tell him that, he’ll make the effort to prove himself.