Would it be foolish of me to date my children’s teacher?

I’m 40 and amicably divorced and I’ve grown fond of one of my children’s teachers. We’ve come to know each other because of our involvement with the school PTA and I do some coaching with the school football team.

She is single and in her early thirties, so there should be no issues to do with age. We realised we had a lot in common when we took the football team to watch our local club play as an end of season treat.

There was obviously a spark there and we chatted for quite a while over a coffee when the boys had gone home. We talked about our failed relationships and opened up on quite a few life issues.

She now makes a point of coming out to talk to me whenever it is my turn to pick my kids up from school and we generally share a laugh. From what she says and how she acts, I actually think she is waiting for me to ask her out.

I really want to, but I have two concerns. Firstly, is it ethical and, secondly, how would my children view any relationship that might develop?

Obviously, I’m concerned about any impact on her career and the future happiness of my two children, whom I adore and who must come first.

You’re clearly agonising over this and perhaps overthinking it too.

I reckon the thing to do is to say something along the lines of, “I love your company and I’d really like to invite you out for a drink some time, but tell me if you don’t think it’s appropriate because you teach my child”.

This also gives her a get out if she doesn’t want to pursue a romantic relationship with you!

I don’t know the school’s views on parent-teacher relationships or how this woman would feel about it but, as you say, you’re both single adults who are free to date.

I think you do have to take into account how your kids might react, but I think you’d be able to keep your relationship away from them until you know it’s serious.

You don’t mention how old your children are, but there’s always a chance they’ll get teased if the other kids find out Miss is dating their dad.

So, it probably requires some thought on her part about how she’d handle things in school. As a teacher, she’ll be used to setting boundaries. Anyway, just ask her!

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I think she is just waiting for me to ask her on a date