Daily Mirror (Northern Ireland)
Picture of the week Picture of the week
Strictly shock Monday
Britain needed time to heal after a major failure of democracy this week.
Don’t panic there’s not yet another new PM.
(Us Joe Public don’t get to vote for them, silly!).
No, it was the embarrassing example of democracy that was... Ellie Simmonds getting the chop from Strictly.
She scored an impressive 33 points from the judges but the public vote put her in the dance-off with the equally talented CBBC and Britain’s Got Talent star Molly Rainford.
Meanwhile hoofer Tony Adams had been bottom of the table having netted just 21 points from Shirley Ballas and co yet – thanks to us at home – waltzed (OK, salsa-ed) straight through to the next round.
Whether it’s down to his sports legend status, or the thousands of grannies still hot and flustered over his movie week Full Monty strip, is unclear.
But one thing’s for sure: the footballer can’t seem to put a foot wrong with the voters... even if he can’t put a foot right on the dancefloor.
As prizes go, this one sucks... Yes, the I’m a Celeb campmates won themselves a special dinner this week – only for them to discover it was...
OCTOPUS (as modelled by a clearly delighted Owen Warner from Hollyoaks). You really do have to feel sorry for them.
They’ve worked hard to prove they’re highly intelligent problem solvers with a great ability to plan ahead and tackle adversity – and their only reward is... to be eaten by a bunch of B-list celebs.
That’s right: scientifically speaking, cephalopods, and especially octopuses, are incredibly clever and highly advanced. *
Owen on the other hand...
Has just realised it’s jet lag not jet lack.
Thinks Zara Phillips might be Australian.
And when told Scarlette Douglas was from A Place In The Sun, asked: “Whereabouts?”
Now I’m not saying the octopus has more chance of Mensa membership. But Owen should thank his lucky stars that at least he’s pretty...
*For more, see scientificamerican.com