Let’s do this together

I often get panicky calls from The Dark Lord when she’s out with her friends and goes to pay for something, only to discover her ogre of a mother has blocked her debit card.

Trouble is, I do it so regularly, I can’t remember which particular incident incurred my wrath, and even after amends have been made, I often forget to unblock the card.

The Dark Lord was away on a sleepover last weekend, so I had a bit of peace and quiet. That is, until my mobile started ringing.

Me: “You’ve only been gone an hour. What now?” TDL: “You’ve blocked my card again.”

Me: “No I haven’t. I don’t remember doing that recently.”

TDL: “Yes you have. Can you please hurry up and unblock it as our train’s due and I need a ticket.”

I checked the banking app and it turned out she was right, so I graciously unblocked it.

TDL: “Thank you, and can you stop doing it please? It makes life very difficult.”

Me: “I’ll stop doing it when you stop making my life very difficult and learn to behave.”

And like that, she was gone again until our next brief encounter of the teenager kind.

Saying that, she’s also seething about the pin code security on our Amazon Prime Video account. When she wants to watch something on her ipad, The Dark Lord is forced to come and ask me to unlock the pin code each time.

She moaned about it – for the umpteenth time – this week.

And I told her: “Yes but the last time you had unfettered access to Amazon, I woke up to find I was the proud owner of 15 Barbie mermaid movies.”

Outraged by my long memory, The Dark Lord gasped: “I can’t believe you still hold that against me – I was four years old.”

“Yes but you haven’t given up your life of crime yet,” I told her.

“When you do, I’ll take the pin code off.”

■ Email me at siobhan.mcnally@mirror.co.uk or write to Community Corner, PO Box 791, Winchester SO23 3RP.

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