Let’s do this together

COMMUNITY CORNER Edited by SIOBHANMCNALLY

Christmas has come early for me at Dark Lord Towers – the teenager’s gaming PC has met with an untimely death.

Suspicion had been cast in my direction, but despite having more than enough motive and means to have committed computer murder, I am unusually innocent.

I could hear The Dark Lord’s shriek of frustration from two blocks away on my way home.

As I came in the front door carrying shopping, she appeared at the top of the stairs, practically tearing her hair out.

“The stupid computer won’t work,” she yelled at me, as if I was a member of our in-house IT department.

I tried to help and asked, “Have you tried turning it on and…”

“Yes of course I have,” she interrupted me rudely. “Do you think I’m stupid?”

I didn’t answer that. I then asked if she’d run through the technical checklist. “OK, have you tried banging it a few times and breaking the keyboard?” I smiled. “Maybe slammed your bedroom door a few times?”

She fumed at me. “This is serious – I’m going to lose my ranking in the Valorant listings. This is worse than death,” and then she huffed back to her bedroom to unplug the computer.

Taking one look at the back of the machine, I said, “It’s so dusty it looks like Miss Havisham has taken up residence in your hard drive.”

She mumbled in agreement, and then for the first time in her young life, went to fetch the vacuum cleaner out of the downstairs cupboard of her own volition, and hoovered the dust out. But the machine still didn’t work.

“OK, well look, it’s probably just worn out from over-use,” I told her honestly. “You haven’t switched it off in three years.”

The big slab of useless black plastic is now sitting by the door, waiting to be taken to our local computer doctor. However he’s so slow, the device will probably be obsolete by the time we get it back.

In the meantime, The Dark Lord is like a different child. When I asked her to help me with a Christmas project, she sighed, “Well I’ve got nothing else to do.”

And I thought to myself, “You do – you’ve got your life back.”

■ Email me at siobhan.mcnally@mirror.co.uk or write to Community Corner, PO Box 791, Winchester SO23 3RP.

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