I’m raging after he told strangers our sex life is rubbish

I’m a woman in my late 20s and recently my boyfriend and I went away for the weekend with a guy he works with and his wife.

The whole experience has made me question our relationship and since we’ve got back home, all we’ve done is argue.

This couple are very lovey dovey, which really irritated me, but instead of laughing about it with me, my boyfriend criticised me, calling me judgmental and saying we should be like them!

One night on the trip, after a heavy drinking session, the conversation got on to sex and my boyfriend started telling this couple that our sex drives were out of sync and that he likes sex in the mornings, while I don’t. He said he was too tired from work at night to have sex, so we hardly ever did it any more.

I was absolutely furious with him for discussing something so intimate with this couple, who I barely know, plus I had no idea my boyfriend felt this way.

We’re not getting on at all at the moment because I’m still so angry with him.

Am I overreacting?

Coleen says

I think you need to let the anger go and start a conversation.

Tell him you never knew how he felt, so it hurt that he blurted it out to two virtual strangers.

Of course it’s something he should have discussed with you, but it sounds like there’s a huge communication block here.

When I was younger, I wasn’t great at communication either – I’d bury everything in my head and my heart, which is just not healthy. But it comes out in the end, usually in an inappropriate or destructive way.

That’s what’s happened with your boyfriend – he’s held on to these feelings for ages and they’ve come out in an inappropriate way after he’s been drinking. But the important thing to take from this is that he clearly feels he can’t talk to you about it.

So I think some honesty is needed discussing your relationship, on both sides.

Maybe you are difficult to talk to because you take things personally or don’t listen or have a short fuse.

I can understand why you feel hurt, but I don’t think it’s the end of the world.

In fact, if it gets you talking, then that’s a good thing.

I had no idea that my boyfriend felt this way