My woman of the week...

My favourite Geordie ever – apart from legendary Southampton manager Lawrie McMenemy – the exquisite Cheryl, was stunning all who beheld her at the launch o of The X Factor on Wednesday. Simon Cowell says she’s back on form this year, although I didn’t think she ever wasn’t on form. Anyway, judge for yourselves when the brand-new series of The X Factor begins tonight at 8pm on ITV.

these “researchers” we hear about day after day in the papers. Are they all in jobs because they haven’t got a clue? On some sort of personal mission to catch up with what the rest of us knew already?

Are they experts in the blindingly self apparent? For example, this week “researchers” at the University of Birmingham announced that a “study” they carried out has revealed that drinking a pint of water before a meal fills you up, so you don’t eat as much. Really? You don’t say. I am now going to undertake a study – at no cost to the taxpayer – to find out how much “researchers” get paid for stating the bleedin’ obvious.