To little kidney e and t my family

Arn about their donor but Gemma mily of the young girl whose kidney

n.”Ashni, who had s, died from a blood n January 2012 after in hospital underr a long-term bowel

e completely out of esh. “It was heartnt should have to a child.” o live in Leicester, the organ donor es and made the o donate Ashni’s ould live. ing Gemma, her nd kidneys saved men, and the ea helped a man

so has a 19-yearith Paresh, says: hni but we knew he right thing to was such a loving, girl. She was liked eryone. I think e proud she had others.” transplant marked nd of years of ainty for Gemma, s born with only one g kidney. She says: “It my normal kidney work harder, causing scarring to it and I ctions. I was in and whole childhood.” manager Gemma onic kidney disease, ndition where the rk effectively. n doctors broke the uld eventually need

dney was failing and ry thinking about

the future.” She also feared childhood sweetheart Gary might not be able to cope.

She says: “We’d been together only a couple of years and were young.

“I wondered what was going through his mind and whether he’d stick by me. I loved him and I hoped he would, but it’s a big thing to put on somebody.”

Then when Gemma reached her 20s, her health took a turn for the worse.

She says: “I was getting very poorly and I was tired all the time. I had no energy at all.

“I was having a lot of time off sick. I couldn’t work full-time but I refused to give up completely and went down to part-time.”

After Gary proposed in 2007, their thoughts turned to starting a family.

“I’ve always wanted to be a mum,” Gemma says. “The doctors warned me it was too dangerous to get pregnant though. My kidney wouldn’t be able to support me and a baby.

“I was anaemic and on a lot of medication, which made it highly unlikely I’d even fall pregnant.

“I asked Gary if he still wanted to be with me even if I couldn’t have children.

“He told me it didn’t matter but I didn’t know if he was saying it to make me feel better.”

By the time the couple tied the knot two years later in July 2009, Gemma’s kidney function was down to just eight per cent.

Tears filling her eyes, she says: “I started to think, ‘ What if I don’t make it?’ It sounds morbid but I kept thinking about my family at my funeral – how they and Gary would cope. It was a very low point.”

Gemma’s family and friends were tested to see if they could be a donor but none of them were a suitable match.

“I desperately needed a transplant,” says Gemma. “I would have died if I didn’t get one.”

She was put on the waiting list for a transplant in December 2010.

“They told me it could take five years with my blood group to find a match,” she says. “But I didn’t know if I even had five years.

“It’s hard to describe what it was like waiting for that phone call to come.”

Then, in January 2012, she got that longed-for call late at night to say a kidney had become available.

“When the phone rang I was half asleep,” she says. “It took me a few moments to realise I wasn’t dreaming. I sat bolt upright in bed and I asked them to repeat what they had just said. Then I burst into tears.” The transplant Gift of life: (top) Paresh with Ashni, and the two families at their first meeting operation was a success, and a few days later Gemma was told her donor was a young woman.

“I knew she had died but they couldn’t tell me any more,” she says.

Gemma was allowed home after a week and later she learnt more about her donor.

She says: “When they told me it was a little girl, I was taken aback and it made me cry. I thought of her family and what they had gone through.”

Kalpna, a school kitchen assistant, says she was delighted to receive a letter from Gemma.

She says: “We were very touched and she was the only person to write.

“But I struggled when it came to replying. It was hard to put it in writing.”

The two families continued to exchange letters over the next twelve months.

Gemma says: “We talked about everything – our jobs, pets, what we’d been up to, how I was progressing after the transplant.

“They told me about their lives, and their son going to uni – just daytoday things, like pen pals do.”

And when Gemma became pregnant in January 2013, she was quick to tell the couple her news.

“They were so happy for me,” she says. “The doctors had warned me I might struggle to conceive after what my body had been through with the transplant.

“Everyone was stunned. I had to do four pregnancy tests because I couldn’t believe it.”

Her pregnancy progressed well, but Wait over: Gemma all set for her transplant Happy family:

Gemma and Gary with their

son Harley at 32 weeks Gemma developed pre-eclampsia – high blood pressure and large amounts of protein in the urine – and had to stay in hospital.

“It put a strain on my donated kidney, which started shutting down,” she says. “My liver started shutting down.

“I’d come so far and I was terrified I was going to lose it all.”

She had an emergency Caesarian section at 34 weeks and Harley was born weighing just 5lb.

After a week in hospital, Gemma made a full recovery and Harley was released eight days later.

She says: “Paresh and Kalpna sent me baby clothes when he was born.

“They’ve sent him presents at Christmas and on his birthday too. They’re such a lovely family.”

Gemma plans to keep the clothes for her second child, another boy, who is due in January.

“The Parmars can’t wait to meet this little one,” she says.

“We no longer write but I’m always sending them messages on WhatsApp wi th updates and photos of Harley. “We share this incredible bond and they will always be in our lives.”

Gemma says the daughter they lost is always in her thoughts.

“A day doesn’t go by when I don’t think of Ashni,” she says.

“The other day I went into the hospital shop after an appointment and saw some guardian angel gifts. I immediately thought of Ashni because she is my guardian angel.”