MY FIRST TIME WAS RUBBISH

Dear Coleen

I’m 17 and feel really embarrassed as last week I tried to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time, but it didn’t happen.

I’ve been looking forward to this night for so long, but I messed it up because I couldn’t stay aroused.

She was sound and told me not to worry, but I can’t stop playing it over in my head and cringing.

I’m also worried she’ll dump me because of it, as well as stressing about trying again in case the same thing happens.

Any ideas what I can do?

Coleen says

You’ve been building yourself up for this night for so long and, as a result, you put yourself under a ridiculous amount of pressure to be some kind of sex god.

So learn from that mistake, stop playing back every detail in your mind and stay calm.

Don’t be so serious about it. It’s supposed to be fun.

Whether it’s your first time ever or the first time with a new partner, my advice is not to plan it, but to let it happen naturally when it feels right.

Also, so what if it takes you a few attempts? You can have a lot of fun trying. I don’t think you need to worry about your girlfriend – she’s not putting any pressure on you.

Relax, enjoy being intimate, and it will happen.