Need to stay with one you’re Fonda of
HOLLYWOOD legend Jane Fonda turns 80 at the end of this year. Does the thought depress her? Does it heck as like.
According to the ageless icon, being “over the hill” isn’t all that bad.
“When you’re outside of oldness, looking in, it’s scary”, she says. “But once you’re inside oldness, it’s not scary anymore, because you realise that over the hill, there’s all those other hills and a lot of beautiful meadows and things”.
Crikey! Has she developed a hallucinatory drug habit? Or is it just that if you’ve got loads of dosh you can avoid the local care home sucking your cash, as well as the life, out of you? I think we know the answer.
Good for Jane. I’m happy for her. But, come on! I spent years visiting my mum in a care home and I don’t recall ever feeling as though she was gambolling through a “beautiful meadow”.
The truth is, there’s not much care in care homes. They’re businesses. And unless you’re fortunate enough to be able to pay through the nose for the best, being in care is not a bucket of daisies in a sun-kissed meadow.
Most staff are clearly there because they want to care – let’s face it they don’t do it for the appallingly low wages – but they often don’t have time for the niceties that make life worth living.
It’s as if, when you get old and can no longer live independently, you’re seen as a problem devoid of emotion or your own unique personality.
Sometimes couples who’ve lived together for 40, 50 years or more are ruthlessly split up and forced to live in separate institutions.
This week, one of Britain’s top judges said forcing couples to live apart is “outrageous” and “inhumane”. Sir James Munby said that he felt a sense of “personal outrage” with the separation of couples who’ve been together for decades.
He also remarked that the forced separation could cause them to die of a broken heart.
How sad is that? The years leading up to the end of our lives should be filled with love and happiness, family and good care. We need to re-humanise later life care and also change our attitude towards age.
On Thursday, Rabbi Jonathan Sacks shared his thoughts on life in Sardinia, the Italian island which has the highest population of centenarians in the world.
The common theme is a diet of fresh, healthy food including local fruit, vegetables, milk, cheese, red wine and sunshine. Meat and sugar don’t figure highly.
Equally as important though is that life in Sardinia means families living together and caring for each other. Elders are held in high regard and included in family life. They’re important figures in village social occasions.
That all leads to a feeling of contentment and happiness which triggers a hormone that, in turn, boosts your immune system and leads to longer, happier lives. YES!!! Maturity needn’t mean misery. There is another way. All you need is love.
PS: A note to my two boys... Even though we sometimes annoy each other, your dad and I would like to stay together if you decide to dump us in a care home.
Please let the staff know we will NOT take part in linedancing or bingo sessions and we would rather order our food in.
And the occasional magic mushroom, to enable us to believe we’re living in a beautiful meadow, would not go amiss.
When you get old you are seen as devoid of a personality