Love wins over hurt for Princes
IN the one-and-a-half heartbreaking hours of the Diana documentary on Monday night there was one word that was glaringly absent.
Dad. As Princes William and Harry spoke about their love for their mother Diana, their father Prince Charles didn’t get a mention. Rather they spoke about how they still imagined their mum’s hugs, her naughty sense of humour and her incredible spirit of joy. And, most poignantly, they spoke of a love so potent that even now, 20 years after her death, it is still a force in their lives.
It was one of the most beautiful memorials a mother could ever hope to have. And without a shred of doubt the boys intended this as the last note in history on her.
A note which obliterated all the stories of her being “neurotic”, “attentionseeking”, “mad”.
The stories which we – and they – know were circulated over the years by their father’s group of friends.
Friends who, before the programme was even aired, were implicitly criticising the boys for appearing in it.
Penny Junor, who has written biographies of Prince Charles and Camilla using what journalists archly call “impeccable sources”, was first out of the blocks.
She was on radio bleating Charles “might feel justifiably a little bit hurt” by William and Harry. Frankly, who cares? Because if we’re putting hurt on the weighing scales, I really don’t think a mild graze to the
tender ego of a 68-year-old man comes anywhere near the truckload of heartache these two young men have experienced in their lives.
How hurt do you think they were as confused children when their parents’ marriage exploded with all the force of an atomic bomb? How hurt were they to discover their father never married his true love, but simply rounded up a healthy virgin from good stock?
And how hurt were they when their warring parents’ utter failure to communicate like adults meant they spent weekends and holidays hurtling between the two of them like balls in a pinball machine?
Or when Mum and Dad took to prime time television to give “their side of the marriage breakdown” with all the dignity of Jeremy Kyle guests.
And then the absolute hurt of losing their mother.
It is nothing short of a miracle that William and Harry have grown into such well-balanced, sensible and decent young men.
This we must put down to the love and values instilled in them by both their parents.
But there can be no doubt that both their parents let them down when it came to coping with their toxic marriage.
One of the most inspirational parts of the documentary was seeing that these men now have the maturity to see their parents with total clarity.
They are clearly well aware of their mother’s brilliance – but also of her vulnerabilities.
And their failure to mention Charles shows they see both sides of his character too.
As boys they had no control as waves of hurt repeatedly washed over their lives.
As men they do have control. They’ve chosen to use that control by sharing their reality of their mother. If that hurts some people, that’s not their fault.
As they say – the truth hurts.
They see their parents with total clarity