We’re being pushed out of son’s life by selfish fiancée I feel I’m losing my son to his fiancée and her family. The wedding is next spring and I wish I could be happy about it, but I’m not. His fiancée, who he met at university, comes from a wealthy fami
Dear Coleen
wedding with 200 guests. I just feel so hurt being cut out, but I don’t know what to do about it.
Is there anything I can do? I don’t want to drift so far away from my son that I lose him altogether.
Coleen says
I think you need to stop avoiding “that” conversation and speak to your son candidly about how you feel – hurt and left out. Don’t do it angrily or badmouth his fiancée, but simply explain that you’d like to be a bigger part of their lives.
My guess is that your son is just so wrapped up in his fiancée’s world, as well as the wedding arrangements, that he has no idea you feel this way. Maybe he just needs a gentle reminder that his own parents love him and miss him when he’s not around.
I’d be wary about getting fixated on the money side of things. It could be that her family are very traditional and believe it’s down to them to pay for the wedding, lock, stock and barrel.
And they might not want you to feel under pressure to pay for anything.
It’s also likely that your future daughter-in-law just likes to be in control of every detail, which might be hard if she accepts your kind offer of financial help.
Try also to put the wedding into perspective – it’s one day, which will be over in a flash, and someone usually gets upset. Focus on the long term and how you’re going to build a closer relationship going forward with your son and his wife-to-be.