Not sure I should let ex be at birth of our baby
Dear Coleen
I’m having a baby in a month and it’s my ex-boyfriend’s child. I got pregnant the last time I had sex with him and we broke up shortly afterwards.
I’ve since moved on with someone else – a great guy who I’ve known for a few years. It’s still early days in our relationship, but I think it could last. We already had a good friendship before things turned to romance, and we have lots of things and people in common.
He’s accepted the pregnancy and says he’ll do everything he can to support me and the baby. He’s totally up for fulfilling the dad duties.
The problem is, my ex-boyfriend’s family – his mother in particular – clearly hate the fact that I’m with someone else and are being overbearing when it comes to arrangements for the birth and what happens afterwards.
The fact is, I’m not with their son any more, so I think it should be on my terms.
My ex wants to be at the birth, but then how will my new boyfriend take that? I feel pulled from every side.
Please help.
Coleen says
As far as your ex goes, he is the baby’s father, so I understand why he wants to be at the birth and I admire him for that.
Even though it hasn’t worked out between you, he wants to be involved in his child’s life. It would be far worse if he’d wanted nothing to do with the baby.
Of course it doesn’t mean you’ll have to see him or his family every day, but they will be a part of your lives and it just comes down to working out an arrangement with them.
If you’re clever and grown up enough, then you’ll benefit from their support.
They don’t have a right to have an opinion on your new man, but they do have a right to see the baby.
What you want to do is avoid going down the court battle route if you can, but your ex might do that if he feels you’re not being fair when it comes to seeing the baby.
It costs a lot of money and causes ill feeling, and the only people who really win are the lawyers who pocket the cash.
If your ex wants to be at the birth of his child, then I think you should accept that and so should your boyfriend.