FRIEND WHO’S DIVORCING IS UNRELIABLE

Dear Coleen

My friend is constantly letting me down. She’s going through a painful divorce at the moment, so I understand she’s preoccupied.

I’ve been there for her every step of the way, but now she just seems really distant and scatty.

She keeps letting me down at the last minute, then the other day she was supposed to collect my son from school and she forgot, so I had to go racing back from work early to get him.

I don’t want to give her a hard time, but we used to have a great friendship and be able to depend on each other.

Coleen says I don’t think she’s letting you down intentionally and, having been through divorce myself, I understand why she’s scatty.

It’s a major ongoing stressful situation and she is probably wrapped up in herself right now.

There will be so much running through her head, from how her kids are coping to her financial situation.

You should still be there for her as a friend, but just don’t rely on her right now for things like picking up your child or remembering a lunch date – she simply has too much on.

If she asks you if you don’t trust her to help out on the school run, then just tell her you think she’s got enough on right now without worrying about your kids too.

She’s not being a rubbish friend – she’s just going through a big lifechanging event.