Ryanair fury at pre-flight refuel

It’s been a while since I flew Ryanair, but the one thing I do remember is that I couldn’t have got through the experience without my dearest friend and lifelong companion. Alcohol.

If you’re flying on the notoriously tight-fisted budget airline, a quick pint or six in the airport Wetherspoons is likely to be the last time you experience any joy in your life until you land. But now Ryanair is trying to wrest that from us as well – calling for a ban on all airport drinking before 10am, and limiting holidaymakers’ booze intake to two drinks before boarding.

The Lidl of the skies is claiming that this is a safety issue and drunkenness among passengers causes them major problems as an airline. Fair enough.

Although curiously, the firm seem less concerned about passengers getting hammered if they’re profiting from it, and are only too happy to sell you the demon grog once you’re on board.

I would ask a spokesman for a statement, but they’d probably charge me by the second for it.

If you’re anything like me, you’ll have spent the week wearing a sackcloth shirt and black armband at the news Tom Cruise injured himself of the set of Mission: Impossible 6 (six?!). A failed stunt saw the Scientology midget smash into a building and break two bones in his ankle. In even worse news, the film is still going ahead.