Dressing like a lady

Bicolour box bag, £49.99, mango.com Contrast velvet and mod croc bag, £49.99, zara.com Long faux pearl jewelled earrings, £12.99, zara.com Pave pearl drop stud earrings, £7.70, marksandspencer.com Jewelled dragonfly ‘Darimeya’, £65, dunelondon.com gives a masterclass in how to look cool and feminine in head-totoe Miu Miu. She rocks a combo of a ladylike bag, kitten heels and leather

Fashion has taken a ladylike turn this season. Feminine and flattering, we’re confident that this look will suit you, madam. Think kitten heel shoes, handle bags and pearls. The key is to mix in a bit of denim or leather, as there’s a fine line between stylish and stuffy. By Amber Graafland

looks every inch the lady in Gucci’s pearlembellished top teamed with pearl jewellery Gold and pearl necklace, £19.99, hm.com Pearly bead ring set, £9.99, mango.com I like to think I’ve given honest answers to all of my daughter’s questions over the years, but this week’s inquiry into the personal depilatory habits of that Kardashian reality TV monster made my hair stand on end.

“Mummy?” Jesse casually asked. “Does Kim Kardashian shave her front bottom?”

I tried to look cool, but inside my mind was racing. This was the woman who broke the internet with her oiled-up butt cheeks – had Jesse seen a picture online of Kim’s nether regions too?

I’ve always been quite strict about my eightyear-old daughter’s access to the internet. She’s not allowed Google, although I’m happy for her to watch stuff unsupervised on the YouTube Kids app.

Luckily, Jesse put me out of my misery. “When we were at the airport last week, I saw a picture of her wearing knickers, and she didn’t have any lady hair,” said Jesse innocently.

“Ahhhh,” I said relieved, remembering the massive poster of a Victoria’s Secret model in her undercrackers in the departures lounge at Athens airport.

“I don’t think that was Kim Kardashian – but I guess all airbrushed crotch shots look the same,” I told her. “And yes, I think some hair removal was necessary for the photo – after all, they’re selling knickers, not gardening tools.”

“But wouldn’t it grow back itchy?” Jesse continued, remembering the time she used my razor to shave her leg.

I didn’t have to say much at the time to Jesse to warn her about the perils of premature hair removal, because she was horrified to find her dark leg hair looked even thicker after it grew back.

“Exactly, Jesse,” I agreed. “It would grow back thicker and itchier. I imagine the model has been very uncomfortable since that photoshoot and can barely sit still for scratching her giggly bits.”

“That poor lady,” said Jesse, nodding. But the subject wasn’t over yet.

“I was thinking,” she said slowly, “that maybe now I’m in Year 4, I could have a slip-on bra.”

“Aren’t you a bit young yet, Jesse?” I sighed. “Last week you asked for boys’ pants – now you want ladies’ lingerie.” “Oh but Mummy…” she whined. “No, don’t ask again until you have teenage spots,” I said firmly. It’s time we started burning our pre-teens’ bras! Jesse acts grown-up

I’ve been quite strict about her access to the internet