Bake Off’s Nadiya: My life is spent trying not to fall apart
Star reveals fight against panic
NADIYA Hussain has revealed that she still struggles from a crippling panic disorder.
The 32-year-old TV chef and mum admitted: “My whole life revolves around not falling apart.”
Nadiya, the 2015 Bake Off winner now co-hosting The Big Family Cooking Showdown with Zoe Ball, said panic attacks are “always there” despite her fame and achievements.
She explained: “I describe it as a monster. Some days the monster shouts in my face, no matter where I turn he will keep shouting at me, I can’t get him out of my face.
“Other days he’s behind me and he’ll tap me on the shoulder a little bit here and there through the day and I can ignore him completely.
“Other days I can put him in my pocket. He’s always there.”
Nadiya, who rejects medication to curb her disorder, continued: “I’ve spent my whole life trying to find a cure. You’ll go to the doctors and they will give you pills and then you just won’t feel anything. What’s the point in not feeling anything?
“It’s never going to go away, I have to learn to live with my monster, he’s always going to be there.”
Nadiya has vowed to face her fears head-on, telling John Bishop for his In Conversation With series: “My monster would love me to be scared and say no to everything.
“Every time I’m faced with something that scares the living daylights out of me, I have to say yes to it because then I’ll come out on the other side of fear and then I can put my monster in my pocket.
“I do these crazy things like go to Bangladesh and film a documentary. What that also does is allow me to speak openly and honestly about something loads of people would perhaps shy away from.”
Nadiya also admitted her three children wish she had never won The Great British Bake Off in 2015, which saw her become a BBC star and land book deals.
Speaking about being racially abused, she added: “I want to say things have changed, but they haven’t. I still suffer racism now.”
■ John Bishop: In Conversation with Nadiya Hussain airs on Thursday at 9pm on W.