IS IT TOO SOON TO DATE AGAIN?

Dear Coleen

My boyfriend broke up with me three weeks ago. We were fighting like cat and dog over everything and are better off as friends than lovers.

It was the right decision, but it still broke my heart and knocked my confidence.

I work with a guy I really like and he’s on my mind a lot. Recently, we were chatting in the office and he told me he had feelings for someone, while going bright red, but refused to tell me who that person was.

It could be me, going by the way he blushed, but obviously I can’t be sure.

Part of me wants to ask him out for a drink, but another part of me thinks it’s too soon after my break-up and I don’t want to hurt my ex, who I’m still friends with.

Coleen says

I wouldn’t worry about hurting your ex – he was the one who ended the relationship, even though you admit it was the right decision.

If you’re going for a drink with your colleague, you don’t have to call your ex and tell him. That part of your life is as separate and private as you want it to be. If you fancy this workmate and think he likes you, then I don’t see how going out for a drink is a big deal – you can get to know each other better. It’s not a marriage proposal.

You might go out and think ‘OK, it feels too soon’, and then you can put the brakes on. But it’s nice to have someone to go for a drink with – it doesn’t have to become a relationship.