CAN’T STOP CRYING OVER CANCER

Dear Coleen

We found out recently that my granddad has prostate cancer. It’s come as a shock, as for an 80-year-old, he is pretty healthy and able. I feel very upset and can’t stop crying.

Both my granddad and my nan mean the world to me and if something happens I don’t think I’ll be able to carry on. I haven’t experienced the loss of someone very dear to me before and think the pain will be too much to bear. I can’t sleep and I’m exhausted from all the crying and worrying.

While I feel depressed and can’t help fearing the worst, Granddad seems to be very positive. The cancer was detected early and he is due to start treatment soon. But all that’s on my mind is cancer, death and how we will deal with it all. Please help.

Coleen says

There’s no easy way to deal with someone you love so much being ill with a life-threatening condition. And it’s hard if it’s the first time you’ve had to go through something like this.

What I would say is, that if he’s being so positive about it, then you have to try to be too, and really make the most of the time you spend with him. There are some positives here – they’ve caught the cancer early and he’s starting treatment soon. He’s a fit and healthy man for his age, so he has a really good chance of beating it.

The fear of losing someone close to you is hard to deal with, there’s no way of getting round that, but don’t start grieving now because you’ll miss out on sharing some special times with your granddad.

And if you’re struggling, then talk to people and let your fears out. Speak to your mum and family members – those people will be your greatest support because they’re going through it too. And, when one of you feels down, the others can be strong.

Good luck to your granddad and I wish him a full and speedy recovery.